Newest Members
journey4two, VASurvivor, jayceemac, rwolf, FindingNemo
12328 Registered Users
Today's Birthdays
Alicia (55), bubblytam (56), crazydragon (39), JGag78 (36), kris82 (32), Shin (28)
Who's Online
5 registered (learning2remember, crabbott, Shyshark, 2 invisible), 18 Guests and 5 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
12328 Members
74 Forums
63401 Topics
443272 Posts

Max Online: 418 @ 07/02/12 07:29 AM
Twitter
Topic Options
#197688 - 01/02/08 09:39 PM Disconnected ramblings
MarkK Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/02/07
Posts: 2502
Loc: Denver, CO
It's not as if I want to quit
I just have a history of never finishing anything
Almost as if I don't deserve the accolades
And so I sabotage myself

Yet, even knowing this much
I am unable to change the patterns in my life
My T always reminds me this kind of change is never easy and rarely quick
And if I examine my life, I can see how I'm not the person I was when I started all this

But I'm sure not who I would like to be
Not that I even know who that person is

I'm tired of failing
Of never finishing

Not strong enough to do this alone
And not trusting enough to allow anyone to help

- - - again, self sabotage

Am I depressed because I'm so tired
or am I so exhausted because I'm depressed?

... which came first, the chicken or the egg ...

Not that it matters


Top
#197696 - 01/02/08 10:36 PM Re: Disconnected ramblings [Re: MarkK]
mogigo Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/24/07
Posts: 1331
Loc: Colorado
Hey Mark, I've had 40+ jobs in my life and this healing thing is the longest I've ever stuck with anything in my life.

It just seems too important to quit this one \:\)

Mike

_________________________
Thriving

Top
#197757 - 01/03/08 12:46 PM Re: Disconnected ramblings [Re: mogigo]
MarkK Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/02/07
Posts: 2502
Loc: Denver, CO
... and I'll stay in a dead-end, non-fulfilling job rather than take the chance of stepping out to find something better.

As for "this healing thing" - I'm hoping it stays important with me. I've already hit that subject with my T - the desire to just quit (again) was VERY strong before Christmas.

Thanx for your feedback, Mike.

M


Top


Moderator:  ModTeam, TJ jeff 

I agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole discretion of MaleSurvivor.
I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor resources are AT-WILL, and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for any reason by MaleSurvivor.