I read on a post here about someone saying to a survivor that they felt turned on by the admission of "acting out" homosexually. Now, I KNOW this person regrets saying this to their friend, but I flashed back to my adult rape situation, and remembering how I made the mistake of telling the rapist my violent fantasies against me. Which, as it turns out, it wasn't so much fantasy as reinactment.
I wonder (if I ever get into some kind of intimate relationship again) if there are some things (fantasies, real-life experiences, etc.) that you SHOULDN'T tell them, EVER. I mean, in my case it led to a very dangerous situation, but in others, it can lead to exploitative behavior, damaged feelings, etc. So, I guess I'm just flashing back and trying to get some perspective.
By the way, if the person reads this, please don't think I think badly of you, I don't. You were being honest, and it just triggered me into thinking about this. I'm glad you were able to be open about the situation, and hope you continue to do so. That's important in both his recovery and your ability to deal with it.
There are reasons I'm taking medication. They're called "other people." - Me, displaying my anti-social tendancies