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#196622 - 12/25/07 07:42 PM First Christmas Free
GateKPR4 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/28/07
Posts: 955
Loc: North Carolina, USA
Well this is the first Christmas since disclosure and it has been different. Was kind of quiet and did not seem much like Christmas. I went to an early AA meeting because a friend was cheering the meeting at 6am. There was only 4 of us and I got to see another close friend on his way out. I disclosed to him and he shared some information about his son who went through the same thing with a teacher for about 6 years. He was very understanding and supportive. We had the meeting but it was just not the same as it once was. I no longer belong there anymore than a candle in a snowman. It was kind of sad but then again its time to move on.
Me and my mom exchanged gifts and watched some TV. Later tonight we had dinner with my aunt and uncle. Dinner went well and we did exchange presents.
I don't know it just seemed that I did not have the feeling of excitement I usually did at this time of year. I am exhausted and will be going to bed soon.
It was a good day just different than others I did get to see and feel the joy of my mom opening up her gift and the surprise on her face \:D
We got to spend some good time together and I am happy for that.
Hope you all had a great day.

_________________________
I'm a normal person dealing with abnormal experiences.
The greatest discoveries we will find within ourselves.
Ricky
__m_τΏτ_m__
|| || || || || || |

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#196638 - 12/26/07 02:20 AM Re: First Christmas Free [Re: GateKPR4]
alexey Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 08/16/05
Posts: 1674
Loc: Moscow, Russia
I am happy for you. Alexey

_________________________
(\__/)
(='.'=)
E[:]|||||[:]3
(")_(")
--------
When you feel all alone and unhappy, turn to you Inner Child and talk to Him.
You will see He can comfort you like nothing else!

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#196712 - 12/26/07 04:43 PM Re: First Christmas Free [Re: alexey]
mvnforwrd Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/05/07
Posts: 216
Loc: NJ
Ricky,
It does feel good to be free and like you this Christmas is also my first Christmas free. I also did not feel the jolly as I did prior. When the secret was being held in for me to deal with alone, I was able to live a life of lies and be jolly. now that the few people that are the closest to me know I am happy to be free but also sad because now I have to feel things I was able to surpress for many years. We are doing the right thing and we will fell the Christmas Jolly agian I believe. It will just take a little time im told.

_________________________
Take your foot out of yesterday and your other foot out of tomorro or you will keep pissing allover today!

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#196721 - 12/26/07 07:19 PM Re: First Christmas Free [Re: mvnforwrd]
GateKPR4 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/28/07
Posts: 955
Loc: North Carolina, USA
Thanks for the replies. I wasn't sure if this was a normal part of healing or not. At least I know I'm not the only one who has this weird feeling. I did start taking my antidepressant again. Its not a strong one nor is is a high dose but its too early for me to be off of it, which I found out this morning when depression started to set in. I feel much better this evening and the depression is almost gone. By tomorrow I'll be back to myself. Still got presents to bring to work tomorrow that I did not bring in last week so it will be fun. Just going to take it easy and let recover happen as it will. I know I have been pushing it and thats not how it works. I know if I push too hard it will push back. \:\)

_________________________
I'm a normal person dealing with abnormal experiences.
The greatest discoveries we will find within ourselves.
Ricky
__m_τΏτ_m__
|| || || || || || |

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#196854 - 12/27/07 07:00 PM Re: First Christmas Free [Re: GateKPR4]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Rick,

I disclosed in November 2005 and I have to say that this Christmas has been the first where I felt really comfortable in my own skin again. You're right - it does take time, and remember that the work you are doing in recovery takes a lot out of you emotionally. If you just need to relax, without feeling all jolly, that's fine. It sounds like you got what you needed spending some time with your mother.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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