it's monday, and it's 10:45 in the morning and i just got out of bed...sometimes i wonder if i'm fueling my own misery by having given up my administrative job to have more time to work on myself.

i have so many conversations with myself each night about how i am NOT going to waste the next day...and then here i am.

in my defense (i know i don't need to "defend" myself here...i'm just spewing, i guess) i did have a killer headache and was up til 2:30 this morning trying to get rid of it.

anyhow...i'm gonna try to get my ass in gear...

...and...the WoR retreat at Hope Springs is Friday....YES...i can't wait.

thanks for listening,

Russ/Rej

Post deleted by ttoon

crazy dave

you make me laugh.

thanks. c u soon.

russ

Today is christmas and I feel so alone, I woke up at 330 am and treked to church. I feel alone and that is not worth the effort today. I want to go hide but I'm at work. I've promised my sponser to go to this men's meeting but I'm tired if playing that ambiguous sexuality. I'm truly sick and tired of all this recovery crap AA ACOA AMAC two therapist and a pyschiatrist. I can't even cry anymore, and I know its me I'm surrounded by pretty good people flawed but good, but can't get any rest, I'm always emotionally tired.

I've given up a lot of unhealthy behavior, but I am waiting for the good stuff.

So I press on, tommorow is my first day at tje gym maybe that will help.

Hopefully,

Charles G

you're not alone

*hug*