I did not serve in the army because I feared it. In the Russian army the rate of suicide and abuse is horribly high. Many guys return ill, almost disabled, drug addicts, smoking, and, I think, sexually abused.
I understand how tough it could be to face power abuse in the forces.
I am sorry. You take care and find a professional if you had not done it till now.
When you feel all alone and unhappy, turn to you Inner Child and talk to Him.
You will see He can comfort you like nothing else!