You had every right to be scared then and you have every right to be scared now. There's no shame in that. Sexual abuse is one of the worst things that can happen to a boy - how is he to react to that if not with fear? One of our first tasks is to allow ourselves these emotions. Acknowledging how we felt then and how we feel now is so central to our healing.
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me. (Woody Guthrie)