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#196295 - 12/22/07 05:29 PM Another 170 years
Trish4850 Offline
BoD Liaison Emeritus
MaleSurvivor<

Registered: 10/15/05
Posts: 3280
Loc: New Jersey
The story of Shawn and Ben was huge last January when the boys were found. Just this week, the perp Devlin received his last punishment from the court. He is serving multiple life sentences plus 170 years for what he did. The Prosecutor said she is only sorry that he has one life.

This story has triggers so beware:

http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/law/12/21/boysfound.devlin.ap/index.html

_________________________
If you fall down 10 times, Stand up 11.

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#196309 - 12/22/07 07:17 PM Re: Another 170 years [Re: Trish4850]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Trish,

I was wondering what had happened in this case. I just wish more attention could be paid to the issue of why a boy would remain with his kidnapper and abuser and even forgo efforts to use the internet or phone to seek help. That was one traumatized boy.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#196314 - 12/22/07 07:29 PM Re: Another 170 years [Re: roadrunner]
BJK Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/02/07
Posts: 1526
I hope that Shawn Hornbeck and Ben Ownby will one day be able to take solace in the fact that they helped at least one other victim turn into a survivor. The details of the case involving Hornbeck triggered me into recovery. There is no mystery to me why he stayed with his abuser. I stayed with mine for 18 years.

I hope he has some damn good help because he's going to need it just to overcome the anger he will one day feel towards himself, if he doesn't already.

Bryan

_________________________
Revenge is nothing more than another way of perpetuating abuse.

What the world needs now
Is some new words of wisdom
Like la la la la la la la la la.
-David Lowery

Having a friend who will keep a secret for you is worthless compared to a friend who won't keep a secret from you.

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#196331 - 12/22/07 08:52 PM Re: Another 170 years [Re: BJK]
LandOfShadow Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/11/07
Posts: 684
Loc: Minneapolis, Minnesota USA
(Rant warning...)

You know, the media coverage of this story really bothered me. The smiling boy reunited with his family... It's all over now.

WRONG, WRONG, WRONG!

It just beginning for him I thought. Why can't they just offer a tiny speck of the reality of child abuse????? Please??? And putting the kid on national TV seemed like a very bad idea. It seemed so likely to produce troublesome feelings. I just pray and hope he gets some really good help.

_________________________
Et par le pouvoir d’un mot Je recommence ma vie, Je suis né pour te connaître, Pour te nommer
Liberté

And by the power of a single word I can begin my life again, I was born to know you, to name you
Freedom

Paul Eluard

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#196332 - 12/22/07 08:59 PM Re: Another 170 years [Re: BJK]
EGL Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 06/19/04
Posts: 7821
I'm glad Devlin will never see another day of freedom in his natural life. Instead, he will have to live in fear. Like Larry, I wish the media had reported more on this story from the aspect of why victims are prone to stay silent. I think it was a real opportunity to educate the public and start some discussions on the subject.

_________________________
Eddie

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#196354 - 12/23/07 07:42 AM Re: Another 170 years [Re: EGL]
FormerTexan Offline
Site Administrator
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 09/12/04
Posts: 11025
Loc: Denver, CO
The US attorney in the video made an interesting statement. She said the boys and their families will be serving a life sentence alongside of the perp. I have no idea if the general public will pick up on the full meaning of what she said. I hear her loud and clear, as I'm sure most of us do.

_________________________
List of things ain't nobody got time for:

1. That


If I could meet myself as a boy...

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#196360 - 12/23/07 08:02 AM Re: Another 170 years [Re: FormerTexan]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Guys,

All the comments above ring so loud and clear with me. I was stunned when they plastered the boys' names and photos all over the Internet and publicly asked if they had been abused. What the hell? Sure, some good was done and now the abuser is in a place where some real experts can show him some new tricks about abuse, but I wonder what's being done to help those boys. As Bryan and LandofShadow point out, this is just the beginning for the boys.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

Top
#196363 - 12/23/07 08:11 AM Re: Another 170 years [Re: BJK]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Bryan,

Originally Posted By: BJK
There is no mystery to me why he stayed with his abuser. I stayed with mine for 18 years.


When that issue came up in the news it really pissed me off. I thought, Of course he stayed! The whole thing reminded me of how I behaved exactly the same when I was a boy. I even joined the school chorus so I would have an excuse for being late home from school! Somehow abuse was the only thing in my life that still felt real: the rest was all pretending and inventing a fake normal life for myself. And when I was being abused I didn't have to worry about when the next time would be - that time was now. I actually felt grateful to the abuser for that.

What a mess... Like some of us have already said, I sure hope there's expert help on hand for those two boys.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

Top
#196368 - 12/23/07 09:24 AM Re: Another 170 years [Re: roadrunner]
BJK Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/02/07
Posts: 1526
Larry,

I can trace back several instances in my life that have been crucial to my recovery, and of course, I have shed many tears for Shawn and Ben in hoping that they are able to put this behind them.

But there is a selfish part of me that is kind of glad for all of this. I saw Shawn's face on TV at work one day, and I heard his story. He stayed with his perp for years voluntarily. Nothing clicked at that point, but then the gal with whom I work mentioned, "it couldn't have been that bad if he didn't just leave."

My whole world started to come crashing down, and at that point in my life, I didn't know why. It would still be a couple of months before my mask would come all the way off, but I know...I just know...it wouldn't have happened if not for the national exposure these two boys got.

I know, I'm supposed to be pissed about how this was covered on the national media, but that is so difficult for me when I owe that coverage for a large step in my recovery. I hear you loud and clear, though. This journey these boys are on has just begun, and I still shed an occasional tear for what they have yet to endure. However, I really think that these days I shed more tears for the journey they propelled me on, for I do not know if it would have been possible for me to take this journey or not without that moment with my co-worker and the two boys on television.

Bryan

_________________________
Revenge is nothing more than another way of perpetuating abuse.

What the world needs now
Is some new words of wisdom
Like la la la la la la la la la.
-David Lowery

Having a friend who will keep a secret for you is worthless compared to a friend who won't keep a secret from you.

Top
#196374 - 12/23/07 09:44 AM Re: Another 170 years [Re: BJK]
Hauser Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/12/05
Posts: 2962
Loc: United States
You guys, in your comments about "staying" with your abuser, got me thinking. I only put up with it for a couple months before I simply said "ENOUGH" and stopped coming to his place. I stopped it. He didn't stop it, and no one else did. Just me. It gives me a strange feeling, hard to describe.


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