I have been dealing with my abuse for about 8 years, but I have been dealing with numbness in my genitals/penis since the abuse. My whole life from when I was ten years old I have been numb to any kind of feelings in my lower body area. i do not function normally. i do not have the ability to get a erection. i do not have the ability to feel proud of my self. When i see a girl i immediately feel worthless an useless, I hate myself for beig so dumb. because how can i let this happen to me, ow can I let another man touch me and do things to me. How can I let my neighbor also do this to me how can i have let this happen to me. i AM SO NUMB TO MY PENIS. have have no feelings down there. How can i have a girlfriend I cant have sex with her because I cant get it up. I am so numb to life ad love. All the good things i life I have not been able to enjoy. I missed out on my school years because of this. I couldn't chase the girls around because I was so angry ad scared of those feelings that enable a person to wat to be with another person. I am so numb to any kind of personal closeness with another person/women. I feel so numb to ay kind of hope that it is not to late for me to regain all the things that I missed out on. I see beautiful girls around the age of 21 adn I cant help but feel angry ad sad for al the things I missed out on. All the phine calls, dances, parties, holidays. I feel like my life has been such a waste that I wish I could go back and date some of the girls that I have missed out on because of my fears, and internal pain. I wish I could go back and date the girls that I missed our on. I wish I cold have had the confidence of being a man with the girls and with people. I wish I could have been a man for my friends and family. I wish I could have had the heart of a real man rather than the heart of a coward, loser. I wish I could have been a man for all the women. I wish I was outgoing and more personable. i wish i lite up a room when I walked in. i wish I had the confidence of being a confident man. I am 36 never had a girlfriend. I do not have any kids I have no interest in sex. I have no interest in anyone loving me. I have no interest in liking me. I am numb to life. I do almost everything by my self. I usually eat alone. Spend the Holidays by my self. Watch movies by my self. do most things by myself. I am numb to life and love. I am numb to myself, to my surroundings. I do not know if I will ever be normal/healthy. I do not know if I will ever be able to love a women without feelings of shame, guilt, anger, non-credibility. I do not know ,,I am numb...