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#195473 - 12/16/07 07:18 AM Let Sleeping Dogs Sleep
sabata Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/08/06
Posts: 1948
So-------------Next Week I Got To See My Father --------For About @ Days----I usually Dont Last Any Longer----------The Only Feelings I Have For Him Are Not Very Good----------------------I Have Often Thought -Why Bother to say anything-------------------------------------------About Why He Wasnt There For Me------------------------Why He Didnt Protect Me-------------Why Didnt He Do Anything-----------------When He Caught My Brother Dooing Me------------------------------This Morning I Had This Idea Pop In My Head----------------------------I Have Some Papers That Tell How Csa Screwes Up Ones Life-------------------------I Was Thinking About Giving Them To Him--------------And Reminding Him Of That Time When He Caught My Brother Dooing Me---------------------And How That Ruined My Life------------------------If I Did This I Would Do This Upon Leaving-----------Going Out The Door------------------------To Keep Myself Safe----------------And To Give Him Something To Think About-----------------------------------------------I Dont Know------------------Am I Being Selfish-------------------Only Thinking About Myself------------------------------------Wanting To Do This-------------------------------------------------Well One Never Knowes----------------------I Mite Do This I Mite Not-------------------It Will Be A Spure Of The Moment Type Thing--------------------Or Should I Just Let Sleeping Dogs Sleep??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????Steve


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#195475 - 12/16/07 07:27 AM Re: Let Sleeping Dogs Sleep [Re: sabata]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Steve,

This is a tough one. I hate to nudge you onto a road where you may get hurt, but I will say that if I were in this position I think I would go for showing him the papers.

But I would do that near the beginning of the visit in case he has some reaction or is willing to talk about things. He may feel very awkward about walking in on your brother and you and doing nothing to help you, but the bottom line is you need some answers from him and have a right to ask for them.

The question, though, is this: Will you get those answers? Or will there just be an argument that leads you to further hurt and distress. As I don't know anything about your father I can't address these issues.

Normally I would suggest to a guy that he go for the small safe steps as opposed to the big risky ones. But this issue has been troubling you for a long time, hasn't it? Maybe it's time.

Much love,
Larry

PS: I have been meaning to comment on the new avatar. Very nice! The photo is so beautiful and very relaxing.

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#195476 - 12/16/07 07:37 AM Re: Let Sleeping Dogs Sleep [Re: roadrunner]
sabata Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/08/06
Posts: 1948
Yea-This Troubles Me Much-------------------My Brother Was His Favorite---------------He Did Nothing Wrong--------------Me On The Other Hand--------------Was The Bastard Child--------------Couldnt Do Anything Right----------------Thier Would Be No Disscusion--------------------I Know That---------------------He Doesnt Talk About Feelings---------------------Our Conversations Consist Of--------------------The Weather------------gas prices-----------------nothing topics-----------he never ask how i am-----------------how are things in my life----------------------if i got any response from him on this issue----------------it would be it never happened-----he dont recall-----------------so on so forth------------------------i just want him to realize how hurt i was and still am------------i will never get from him what i needed------------------------just dont know----------i dont know why i even got this idea in my head------steve


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#195477 - 12/16/07 07:39 AM Re: Let Sleeping Dogs Sleep [Re: sabata]
sabata Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/08/06
Posts: 1948
I Was The Bastard child---------------sorry didnt feel like editing above post


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#195478 - 12/16/07 07:54 AM Re: Let Sleeping Dogs Sleep [Re: sabata]
sabata Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/08/06
Posts: 1948
I Dont Know---------------I Just Talked To Him On The Phone------------------Sunday Call--------Lasted About 4 Minutes-------------He Jusyt Sounds So Old And Feible--------Steve


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#195484 - 12/16/07 08:49 AM Re: Let Sleeping Dogs Sleep [Re: sabata]
alexey Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 08/16/05
Posts: 1674
Loc: Moscow, Russia
Steve,

I think you can or can not do this. IT is your decision. You will change anyway, whether you decide to do or not to.

Alexey

_________________________
(\__/)
(='.'=)
E[:]|||||[:]3
(")_(")
--------
When you feel all alone and unhappy, turn to you Inner Child and talk to Him.
You will see He can comfort you like nothing else!

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#195488 - 12/16/07 09:09 AM Re: Let Sleeping Dogs Sleep [Re: alexey]
MemoryVault Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/01/07
Posts: 693
Loc: NJ
Steve --

I've been turning the same issue over in my mind about how much of what I'm dealing with to show my parents. I haven't decided either.

Just some thoughts...see if they work:

Is there something you're needing him to say? And will you be hurt if he doesn't? Unless he's grown a lot, if he couldn't take responsibility for reacting to the abuse at the time, he probably isn't going to take a lot of responsibility now.

On the other hand, if it's about your own power, speaking what's true for you, whatever reaction you get, that could be a very good thing.

There's no wrong choice here -- just the choice that will be best for you.

David


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