It has not been long since I have discoverd how the abuse I have been through and dealing with for many years has really messed me up. My problem now is I feel as though I canot make decisions, Somedays I can't put my foot in front of the other to walk. MY COURAGE is nothing but yet When I tell my abuse story to victims as well as non-victims people keep telling me it takes alot of COURAGE to do what I am doing. Then why can't I get outa bed sometimes or not fall asleep at night courage is strength I thought and strength I seem not to have much of these days. Are there any good books out there dealing with COURAGE relating to sexual abuse? Thanks MVNFORWRD

Someone recommended this book to me at a very dark time and it helped to lift me up. I hope you can take something from it.

Man's Search for Meaning

Cheers,
Josh

mvnforwrd,

I think that what you're experiencing isn't a lack of courage; it sounds more like depression. Clinical depression can get so bad that a guy can find himself almost crippled by it: unable make and follow through on decisions, and sometimes even an inability to leave the house.

I would talk to your doctor about this and see what s/he says. I think the majority of survivors suffer from depression in some form, and it takes awhile to get the right combination of medications that can help. But once you have that the difference can be amazing. I would look into this possibility.

Much love,
Larry

MVNFORWRD,

I think people tell you this because what you do telling thers about your story is indded takes courage and strength. For a human being it is very difficult to face problems like having survived sexual abuse because: the man feels the original pain, he can experience various emotions that were really frozen for many years. It is also a huge problem that men have a burden of guilt being put in their minds by abusers, and this guilt makesi almost impossible to enjoy life, allow yourself to be good to yourself, to dare, etc.

When you start talking to people abut your abuse history, you take a huge step to start solving the issues which affect your life every day, and you start to face the feelings that can be painful. It is complex, I know, but the fact is you are heaing and people like it.

Take care,
Alexey

Thankyou for your responses. Yes I think my lack of courage is probably being masked by deppression And now that I am talking about the abuse I am having a tough time sorting out my feelings and what they truely are. MVNFORWRD
P.S. I will look into Mens Search For Meaning