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#195245 - 12/14/07 02:00 PM Re: High stress reaction - afraid of success? [Re: cbfull]
Lazarus Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/01/07
Posts: 851
Loc: Below the radar, USA
To quote Calvin (of Calvin and Hobbes fame):

"I find that the lower I keep everyone's expectations, the easier my life is."

Is that what you're talking about Craig?

_________________________
"That which does not kill us, surely makes us stonger." - Neitsche

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#195306 - 12/14/07 08:10 PM Re: High stress reaction - afraid of success? [Re: cbfull]
John Oarc Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/10/06
Posts: 633
Loc: Louisiana
My take on this, or in my case I came to the conclusion that my fear of success is directly related to this: I was eight years old doing my thing living and loving life when my parents divorced, ripped my world apart, nine when I was molested, ripped my world apart. I was successful up until my life was ripped apart after that I no longer wanted the success because of the fear that someone or something would come and rip my life apart. It was better for me to have things that could be lost without great pain therefore I did not try to achieve or have things of great value to me. My fear was the loss would be to much for me to handle. I set myself up to have nothing of value to lose and it did not work. My healthy side wanted nice things, felt that I deserved it but the unhealthy side would not let it come about. I wrote about this in the book some time ago but it feels like yesterday the way its coming back to me now.

Hope this helps,

_________________________
Whatever It Takes, God


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#195308 - 12/14/07 08:24 PM Re: High stress reaction - afraid of success? [Re: John Oarc]
cbfull Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/26/07
Posts: 386
Loc: Ohio
Keeping my standards low to try and keep everyone's expectations of me low? I don't know what you're talking about... Oh wait, I think you hit the nail square on the head!

John, what you say makes a LOT of sense too. You may be on to something that I had not yet considered. Keep the bar low so that "when" it is lost the pain does not overwhelm. Very insightful indeed. Thanks for that.

Craig

_________________________
Craig

Guilt and shame have never done any of us any good at all.

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