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#194910 - 12/12/07 12:18 AM Twin Cities Minnesota USA men's support group
LandOfShadow Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/11/07
Posts: 684
Loc: Minneapolis, Minnesota USA
I'm looking to listen, share experiences and give support with other male survivors in the Twin Cities area. I can't find a group for this and I'm even considering organizing one. I know of people who have done it and have some ideas about it.

I know of:
SNAP once a month,
The Men's Center,
Adult Children of Sexual Dysfunction (no contact info)

None of these are the weekly, 6 or more men support oriented kind of group I think I want. I guess I was hoping for something free, i.e. peer leaders. So:

Any other groups I should know about?
Contact me (post here or PM) if you'd consider joining so I can gauge interest if I try to start a group.

_________________________
Et par le pouvoir d’un mot Je recommence ma vie, Je suis né pour te connaître, Pour te nommer
Liberté

And by the power of a single word I can begin my life again, I was born to know you, to name you
Freedom

Paul Eluard

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#194964 - 12/12/07 10:56 AM Re: Twin Cities Minnesota USA men's support group [Re: LandOfShadow]
AndyJB2005 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/14/06
Posts: 1242
Loc: Saint Paul, Minnesota
Depending where it is, I could come. \:\) I bus it, so it's more difficult. But I'm in the Twin Cities too.

I don't know of any other group that's specifically for survivors. \:\(

Good luck!

_________________________
Life's disappointments are harder to take when you don't know any swear words. -- Calvin (Calvin and Hobbes)

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#194971 - 12/12/07 12:20 PM Re: Twin Cities Minnesota USA men's support group [Re: AndyJB2005]
LandOfShadow Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/11/07
Posts: 684
Loc: Minneapolis, Minnesota USA
Hi! and Thanks! Andy--I'll keep updating in this thread for any who are interested.

_________________________
Et par le pouvoir d’un mot Je recommence ma vie, Je suis né pour te connaître, Pour te nommer
Liberté

And by the power of a single word I can begin my life again, I was born to know you, to name you
Freedom

Paul Eluard

Top
#195040 - 12/13/07 12:00 AM Re: Twin Cities Minnesota USA men's support group [Re: LandOfShadow]
Muldoon Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/30/02
Posts: 1428
Loc: St Paul MN
This is great 2 new guys from the cities. I couldn't come to a meeting weekly but would like to get together sometime when I am in the cities. I live 2 hours away but am up there a lot.


I think the men's center has a weekly meeting for survivors.


Tom

_________________________
Teach the Children to Never Hide in the Silence

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#195097 - 12/13/07 01:44 PM Re: Twin Cities Minnesota USA men's support group [Re: Muldoon]
TJ jeff Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/07/04
Posts: 3368
Loc: Northern Wisconsin
I also thought The Mens Center had weekly meetings - I was just about to call them and see if I could join - but then my employer put me on 2nd shift - so I am unable to make the meetings - but hopefully when I get a new job I'll be able to attend their meetings - I'm a hour and a half away - but I think it would be well worth the trips

_________________________
Who will cry for the little boy? - I will... - Antwone Fisher

Abuse happens in silence/isolation - Recovery happens only when that silence/isolation is broken...

TJ's History

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#195125 - 12/13/07 06:44 PM Re: Twin Cities Minnesota USA men's support group [Re: TJ jeff]
mike5 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/01/07
Posts: 170
Loc: Cleveland, OH
Originally Posted By: TJ jeff
I also thought The Mens Center had weekly meetings


Looks like they do - their web site is http://www.tcmc.org/

Mike5


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#195171 - 12/13/07 11:53 PM Re: Twin Cities Minnesota USA men's support group [Re: mike5]
AndyJB2005 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/14/06
Posts: 1242
Loc: Saint Paul, Minnesota
Oh wow!!! I'm totally going to the CSA one, and perhaps another one, too. Easy enough to get to, by bus.

Thanks for this info guys! Been looking for a group for myself, and I got two!

_________________________
Life's disappointments are harder to take when you don't know any swear words. -- Calvin (Calvin and Hobbes)

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#195182 - 12/14/07 04:08 AM Re: Twin Cities Minnesota USA men's support group [Re: AndyJB2005]
Muldoon Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/30/02
Posts: 1428
Loc: St Paul MN
I have an Idea and would like to run it by you guys.

What about us getting together once a month for a live peer support group meeting, I know through being part of the the Healing Circles that peer support can be a very powerful tool in our healing.

We could get together on a Saturday am for a few hour at some restraut that has a private room. Let me know what you think.

Tom

_________________________
Teach the Children to Never Hide in the Silence

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#195225 - 12/14/07 12:12 PM Re: Twin Cities Minnesota USA men's support group [Re: Muldoon]
TJ jeff Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/07/04
Posts: 3368
Loc: Northern Wisconsin
Tom,

excellent idea!!!

count me in \:\)

_________________________
Who will cry for the little boy? - I will... - Antwone Fisher

Abuse happens in silence/isolation - Recovery happens only when that silence/isolation is broken...

TJ's History

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#195250 - 12/14/07 02:32 PM Re: Twin Cities Minnesota USA men's support group [Re: TJ jeff]
AndyJB2005 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/14/06
Posts: 1242
Loc: Saint Paul, Minnesota
I can probably come, but another group I hope to go to meets on Saturdays from 10am - 12am, at the men's center. Let me know when and where and I'll work it out!

_________________________
Life's disappointments are harder to take when you don't know any swear words. -- Calvin (Calvin and Hobbes)

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#195400 - 12/15/07 03:26 PM Re: Twin Cities Minnesota USA men's support group [Re: AndyJB2005]
AndyJB2005 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/14/06
Posts: 1242
Loc: Saint Paul, Minnesota
Just went to a meeting at the Men's Center, not a survivor one but another one. Nice place. Had a good meeting and felt really comfortable there.

Survivor one is Thursday at 7pm if anyone wants to come. 33rd and Hennepin.

Free donuts! Woo!! :: laugh :: (at least today there was lol)

_________________________
Life's disappointments are harder to take when you don't know any swear words. -- Calvin (Calvin and Hobbes)

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#195514 - 12/16/07 11:49 AM Re: Twin Cities Minnesota USA men's support group [Re: AndyJB2005]
LandOfShadow Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/11/07
Posts: 684
Loc: Minneapolis, Minnesota USA
Tom,

This sounds good.

BUT... my therapist talked to me about how this trauma still plays out in my life, and how I sometimes retraumatize myself talking about ... it. So, I'm re-evaluating what good comes from talking about stuff. I'm trying to learn to feel some safety and some control of myself.

Perhaps we could just agree to some ground rules so I can avoid really triggering stuff.

_________________________
Et par le pouvoir d’un mot Je recommence ma vie, Je suis né pour te connaître, Pour te nommer
Liberté

And by the power of a single word I can begin my life again, I was born to know you, to name you
Freedom

Paul Eluard

Top
#196174 - 12/21/07 01:57 PM Re: Twin Cities Minnesota USA men's support group [Re: LandOfShadow]
LandOfShadow Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/11/07
Posts: 684
Loc: Minneapolis, Minnesota USA
Hi guys,

Andrew (AndyJB2005) and I met at the Men's Center group last night! (for Survivors Thursdays 7:30-9:30). We both thought it went really well. It felt good to talk about some of this stuff. It was just the three of us including Hank would "facilitates" the group. He's also a survivor.

So Tom and Jeff, I hope sometime you could join us. It'd be nice to have a bigger group, say 4 or 5 at least. Also, Hank is out of town next Thursday (12/27), but I will host ("facilitate") the group. I actually first went to the Men's Center in 1980, eventually facilitated groups for several years and currently help facilitate the Friday Bi-Men's group. So I hope you are all comfortable with that. Hank will be back the following week I expect.

What do you think?

_________________________
Et par le pouvoir d’un mot Je recommence ma vie, Je suis né pour te connaître, Pour te nommer
Liberté

And by the power of a single word I can begin my life again, I was born to know you, to name you
Freedom

Paul Eluard

Top
#196180 - 12/21/07 03:14 PM Re: Twin Cities Minnesota USA men's support group [Re: LandOfShadow]
TJ jeff Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/07/04
Posts: 3368
Loc: Northern Wisconsin
Just as soon as I get a first shift job I'll be joining the group - unless the new job takes me further away from there

_________________________
Who will cry for the little boy? - I will... - Antwone Fisher

Abuse happens in silence/isolation - Recovery happens only when that silence/isolation is broken...

TJ's History

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#196205 - 12/21/07 07:29 PM Re: Twin Cities Minnesota USA men's support group [Re: TJ jeff]
AndyJB2005 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/14/06
Posts: 1242
Loc: Saint Paul, Minnesota
Yes, it was a great time! So good to meet you, Allan! Hank too! I hope you guys could hear me OK, I'm such a quiet talker. LOL

_________________________
Life's disappointments are harder to take when you don't know any swear words. -- Calvin (Calvin and Hobbes)

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#196210 - 12/21/07 09:12 PM Re: Twin Cities Minnesota USA men's support group [Re: AndyJB2005]
Muldoon Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/30/02
Posts: 1428
Loc: St Paul MN
Guys the Thursday group is out for me because I work afternoons. 4 ,10 hour nights, but I have a 3 day weekend. Would come up on for the Sat group.

Tom

_________________________
Teach the Children to Never Hide in the Silence

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#206756 - 02/22/08 03:00 PM Re: Twin Cities Minnesota USA men's support group [Re: AndyJB2005]
AndyJB2005 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/14/06
Posts: 1242
Loc: Saint Paul, Minnesota
bump

_________________________
Life's disappointments are harder to take when you don't know any swear words. -- Calvin (Calvin and Hobbes)

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#217397 - 04/11/08 05:33 PM Re: Twin Cities Minnesota USA men's support group [Re: AndyJB2005]
LandOfShadow Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/11/07
Posts: 684
Loc: Minneapolis, Minnesota USA
The Thursday Men's Center group has ended. One person does not make a group.

Just another call for guys or groups in the Twin Cities area...

_________________________
Et par le pouvoir d’un mot Je recommence ma vie, Je suis né pour te connaître, Pour te nommer
Liberté

And by the power of a single word I can begin my life again, I was born to know you, to name you
Freedom

Paul Eluard

Top
#260280 - 11/06/08 10:05 AM Re: Twin Cities Minnesota USA men's support group [Re: LandOfShadow]
LandOfShadow Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/11/07
Posts: 684
Loc: Minneapolis, Minnesota USA
Just to bump this up, and say that this is now an active good group. PM me if you have any interest. I know of only one other group in a city of 2 million. How pathetic is that?

_________________________
Et par le pouvoir d’un mot Je recommence ma vie, Je suis né pour te connaître, Pour te nommer
Liberté

And by the power of a single word I can begin my life again, I was born to know you, to name you
Freedom

Paul Eluard

Top
#260298 - 11/06/08 12:28 PM Re: Twin Cities Minnesota USA men's support group [Re: LandOfShadow]
Trucker51 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/20/08
Posts: 2826
Loc: Denver, CO
What ever happened to that SIA group that was at that church on Lake St west of Lake of the Isles. I haven't been there in 10 years now though. Maybe try to see if Mic Hunter knows of a group. 10 years ago his office was on University Ave west of Snelling, I believe, back when I was his patient.

Just wondered,

Mark

_________________________
"We stay here, we die here. We've got to keep moving". Trucker Mark



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#260405 - 11/07/08 09:37 AM Re: Twin Cities Minnesota USA men's support group [Re: Trucker51]
LandOfShadow Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/11/07
Posts: 684
Loc: Minneapolis, Minnesota USA
Mic doesn't know of a group, I asked him a while back.

And SAA isn't my thing, and I already have a 12 step group, which isn't like this group anyway. So I don't know about any SAA groups but I hear this is out there.

This is open topic, talk about what you want to, and you can talk to each other, we allow "crosstalk".

Thanks for the ideas. I don't mean to be "short" here--just in a hurry now.



Edited by LandOfShadow (11/07/08 12:46 PM)
_________________________
Et par le pouvoir d’un mot Je recommence ma vie, Je suis né pour te connaître, Pour te nommer
Liberté

And by the power of a single word I can begin my life again, I was born to know you, to name you
Freedom

Paul Eluard

Top
#287920 - 05/18/09 11:15 AM Re: Twin Cities Minnesota USA men's support group [Re: LandOfShadow]
LandOfShadow Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/11/07
Posts: 684
Loc: Minneapolis, Minnesota USA
Just want to bump this up, and say this group is going well but could use a few new members. It's about 5 loyal members who've met for about 8 months.

PM if you'd like to hear more.

_________________________
Et par le pouvoir d’un mot Je recommence ma vie, Je suis né pour te connaître, Pour te nommer
Liberté

And by the power of a single word I can begin my life again, I was born to know you, to name you
Freedom

Paul Eluard

Top
#319201 - 01/17/10 06:04 PM Re: Twin Cities Minnesota USA men's support group [Re: LandOfShadow]
LandOfShadow Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/11/07
Posts: 684
Loc: Minneapolis, Minnesota USA
Just a reminder about the Survivor Support group that meets Thursdays, 7-9pm at the Men's Center, 33rd & Hennepin Av S in Minneapolis.

PM me if you have any questions.

_________________________
Et par le pouvoir d’un mot Je recommence ma vie, Je suis né pour te connaître, Pour te nommer
Liberté

And by the power of a single word I can begin my life again, I was born to know you, to name you
Freedom

Paul Eluard

Top
#322629 - 02/19/10 11:36 AM Re: Twin Cities Minnesota USA men's support group [Re: LandOfShadow]
Mountainous Buck Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/15/09
Posts: 1626
Loc: Minnesota
Hey Land of Shadow-thanks for the reminder:

I've been going the past several weeks, but need to take some time off and take this process slowly.

Glad you are here.

_________________________
We have to take responsibility for what we're not responsible for.

“It doesn't matter where you've come from,
It matters where you go" Frank Turner

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#364126 - 06/13/11 10:11 PM Re: Twin Cities Minnesota USA men's support group [Re: Mountainous Buck]
LandOfShadow Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/11/07
Posts: 684
Loc: Minneapolis, Minnesota USA
An update:

The Twin Cities Men's sexual assault and abuse support group has moved and is now meeting at the Neighborhood Involvement Program: Rape and Sexual Assault Center at 2431 Hennepin Ave. S., Minneapolis, MN 55405 from 6:30 to 8:30pm Thursday nights.

This is open to all male survivors, gay, bi, trans and straight. PM me with questions and details.

This group has been meeting every week for almost 3 years now.

_________________________
Et par le pouvoir d’un mot Je recommence ma vie, Je suis né pour te connaître, Pour te nommer
Liberté

And by the power of a single word I can begin my life again, I was born to know you, to name you
Freedom

Paul Eluard

Top
#407410 - 08/21/12 12:03 PM Re: Twin Cities Minnesota USA men's support group [Re: LandOfShadow]
LandOfShadow Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/11/07
Posts: 684
Loc: Minneapolis, Minnesota USA
I'm just updating and "bumping" this to the recent posts since there was interesting in Minneapolis area survivors and groups.

I'm a contact person for this group which you can follow-up on via the brochure here. I like to talk to members before they attend.

We're up to four years of weekly meetings with generally 4 to 12 members, usually more in the middle of that range.

All men with unwanted sexual experiences in the past, either as children or adults or both are welcome. Gay, straight, trans, unsure, are welcome. No fee, intake or attendance requirements. We ask that only men who have not abused others sexually (i.e. abused children themselves) as adults attend.

I know of nothing else specifically for male survivors like this in the Twin Cities and would very much like to know of anything else that exists.
_________________________
Et par le pouvoir d’un mot Je recommence ma vie, Je suis né pour te connaître, Pour te nommer
Liberté

And by the power of a single word I can begin my life again, I was born to know you, to name you
Freedom

Paul Eluard

Top
#417518 - 11/28/12 10:45 AM Re: Twin Cities Minnesota USA men's support group [Re: LandOfShadow]
LandOfShadow Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/11/07
Posts: 684
Loc: Minneapolis, Minnesota USA

I’m disappointed to add here I am no longer associated with this group and cannot recommend it.

It’s no longer the healing environment I’ve tried to create, where men can talk about their victimization without interpretations or judgements other than exploring their own, with the perspectives of other men with similar experiences. Many have said how enormously helpful that is.

I don’t believe (convicted or not) sex offenders belong in a group of non-offending male survivors, but on this, I am overruled by the professionals at NIP. This was my policy: no adult (over 18) perpetrators (regardless if he was “caught” and based on his own statement as such).

Repeatedly I’ve heard staff say things stating or implying all male survivors are perpetrators. That simply isn’t a scientific viewpoint, and it’s the worst of the external judgements on survivor experiences that keeps us “stuck”. We all need to be responsible for and examine our behavior, and sexuality is hard to “live” without mistakes, misunderstandings or flaws, especially given the confusing messages of abusive, forced or coerced experiences. It is gets impossible with the stigmas associated with people who have crossed the legal lines, and quite unfair to assume so when there is no evidence you have.

I'd consider reviving this group elsewhere if there was 1 or 2 men to jointly facilitate it. Message me.
_________________________
Et par le pouvoir d’un mot Je recommence ma vie, Je suis né pour te connaître, Pour te nommer
Liberté

And by the power of a single word I can begin my life again, I was born to know you, to name you
Freedom

Paul Eluard

Top
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