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#196506 - 12/24/07 10:21 AM Re: Sex addiction [Re: gravitas]
John Oarc Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/10/06
Posts: 633
Loc: Louisiana
Right after I was molested I remember having the thought that the only thing I was good for was pleasing others sexually. The molestation left me ashamed and as I grew into adulthood I began using masturbation, voyeurism and fantacy as a way to cope with stressful situations. It grew when I married my wife, pornography and phone sex were the favorites. Somehow my minds eye regarding my marriage was totally dependent upon how much sex was provided, i.e. everything was alright and I felt needed as long as she showed interest in sex. She must love me if she needs to make love to me is what I thought; again all I felt I brought to the table was sexual pleasure. Mistaking sex for love is a difficult thing to get through and I am not on the other side yet. I am trying but when your hardwired this way you need a professional to help re-program the software.

I think the sex addict groups and some reading material will give you comfort.

Try Victims no Longer, Abused boys, and my book What ever it Takes, God.

Hope this helps,

_________________________
Whatever It Takes, God


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#269760 - 01/03/09 12:54 AM Re: Sex addiction and emotional anorexia [Re: gravitas]
jones9985 Offline


Registered: 01/03/09
Posts: 1
Hi, This is Jones. You can do by you own so that you can control your emotions. So don't get tempted to do with women. Be on own and do every move safely. Find the latest news and discuss the latest topics with members of the Bulimia and Eating Disorders Community.
_______
Jones




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#269778 - 01/03/09 02:45 AM Re: Sex addiction and emotional anorexia [Re: jones9985]
joelRT Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor


Registered: 09/11/08
Posts: 1357
Loc: Québec, Canada
Well, welcome Jones among us, Good to have you here, tell us of your recocery journey so far. What has led to here ???

_________________________
My Story 1
My Story 2
The longest journey we take is to self-discovery

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#269806 - 01/03/09 06:39 PM Re: Sex addiction and emotional anorexia [Re: joelRT]
Puzzled Offline


Registered: 08/30/08
Posts: 18
Hey John I can relate to this.I was sexually abused by my brother and was made to give him oral sex for 3 years when I was a kid. All my life I have had sex with both gender and always have felt my job was only to please others sexually and thats what I have done. I am in therapy now and will begin to deal with this soon this is from the book out of the shadows understanding sexual addiction by patrick carnes,being sexually abused teaches the child that in order to have a relationship,one has to be sexual.Sex becomes one of the most tangible trade offs for love. Good Luck - God Bless


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#271079 - 01/13/09 09:39 AM Re: Sex addiction [Re: mike5]
nathan555 Offline


Registered: 01/06/09
Posts: 230
Loc: Australia
Mike 5

can you tell me more about SAA

I get overwhelmed with lots of out of control addictive sex (masturbation with fantacies) and feeling miserable after


yeah - out of control sexual desire
that's my problem

Nathan 5


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#271161 - 01/13/09 06:36 PM Re: Sex addiction [Re: nathan555]
mike5 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/01/07
Posts: 170
Loc: Cleveland, OH
Hi Nathan,

I'd be happy to tell you more. I see from your message that you are in Australia. I checked the international service organization's web site and saw that there are meetings in Australia (http://saa-recovery.org/meetings.htm). Send me a pm and I will be happy to answer whatever questions you have.

Mike

P.S. Nice to meet another 5 :-)


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#272279 - 01/22/09 10:54 AM Re: Sex addiction [Re: mike5]
nathan555 Offline


Registered: 01/06/09
Posts: 230
Loc: Australia
Mike
I am ashamed to admit after some heart searching I have sex addictions
masturbation - bi
looking at gays
even an unhealthy sexual appetite for guys

can anyone help
Nathan 5


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#272282 - 01/22/09 11:18 AM Blank [Re: nathan555]
steveb121 Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 01/02/01
Posts: 157
Loc: Swindon, UK

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#272296 - 01/22/09 06:19 PM Re: Sex addiction [Re: steveb121]
wes-b Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/17/07
Posts: 438
Loc: Western, Canada
Nathan,

Welcome to the club, not to be glib, simply know that there is hope and many of us survivors have walked those dark places(most of mine are remote recesses of my mind). Check out the various 12-steps that address sexual addictions ( SAA, SA, SLAA, SCA, SRA ) that have meetings in your vicinity, hit several of each and you will surely find the best fit for you. Consider the one that you want to run from the most, I find that my 'but I don't want to' thoughts are my addict trying to dissuade me (he worked hard to keep me away from al-anon).

Keep stepping along, you are worth it!

Love, Wes

_________________________
Happy to be a recovering survivor. :-)

Continuing to meet more of my fellows as I "Trudge the Road of Happy Destiny".

My Story, 1st pass

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#280832 - 03/26/09 12:52 AM Re: Sex addiction and emotional anorexia [Re: gravitas]
ronbraad Offline


Registered: 03/26/09
Posts: 1
Unlike with drugs and alcohol, sexual sobriety does not imply abstinence from sex. While those in recovery normally try out a period of complete celibacy before they feel they can address their own personal issues, it is not the recommended long term path to recovery. What is more effective is a “contract” between the sex addict and his / her sponsor that involves very specific behavior patterns that have to be avoided in order to call themselves sober. These personal definitions of sobriety can also evolve and change over time as progress is made and the disease is dealt with.



Edited by ModTeam (03/26/09 01:08 AM)
Edit Reason: personal contact info not approved prior to posting

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