what do you do when all you can think of is "it hurts"? i know it's bad right now cuz of the time of year and the approaching holidays and all. it's always bad the last 3 months of the year - like it takes all that time to recoup from my birthday or something. i see my T and i'm ok for a few hours. i go to group and i'm ok for a few hours. but the rest of the time, MOST of the time, i hurt. muscles, joints, head, eyes - you name it - i hurt. i hate feeling like this but i know nothing's gonna help except just getting through it. i'm hoping that posting this might help a little cuz i'm at least vocalizing it. but i doubt it will do any good. nothing ever does.

i'm just tired of it hurting. and "tired" doesn't even come CLOSE to the feeling. it's just the only word i know that even hints in the right direction.

mark--------------dont feel that you are the only one--------------------my life is the shits right now-----------steve

I hear you Mark. Feeling the same way right now. I dont mind the 1 step back so much as long I can feel as there is a step forward. Your not alone.

James

Mark,



Sometimes it's no good to offer solutions; what we need is just to feel that we are being heard and listened to. So on this one I'll just say we hear you - your feelings are important and we're listening.

Much love,
Larry

Take care of yourself Mark. The Holidays are rough on alot of us...Try not to isolate....coming here is a good place to start...I'm Here, and the rest of the guys and gals too....I'll keep you in my prayers.....

Mark,

Sometimes, it is way too hard to start feeling all the pain at once and know that it is in your world. However, do not give up. You have already achieved a lot with your T and with your group. So I think your mood will become less dependent on the few resources you have now and you will enjoy a broader range of interraction with people.

Pain wants to control my life and my world, but as long as I lower the walls around me, the pain just goes.

However, I do refer to your feelings. It seems you havea really hard time now.

Hope you will have good holidays instead of something unwanted.

Alexey

Mark,

Sometimes... Everything is just shit, and that's okay.

Let's face it, it's a crappy battle. It was crappy when it started, it was crappy before we started healing, and it's usually crappy even today.

I've been told that eventually, the good days outnumber the bad. Hard to believe some days. Be weary, and take a "Fuck Recovery Day" for yourself... Perfectly allowed.

I'll second Larry in that, I thank you for vocalizing it -- and you are heard, and understood.

~Brian

well ... called that one.