i was watching this movie a little while ago and this boys got sent to a reform school for killin some guy by accident. actually they pushed this guys hot dog cart and it ran him over. ooops. i thought it was funny, but u can kinda see my sense of humor. anywayz, everything is goin along good in the movie until some guards take the four boys into a room in the basement. i think i kinda knew what was gonna happen, but i kept it on for a lil while longer. then i freaked out. the movie didnt show anythin but ya still kinda knew what was happenin.
when i get scared i start shakin and i cant stop and unfortunatly i cant hold my pee either. i was freaked out sooo bad and i'm kinda relivin it in my head now. i hate this feelin soooo much. i hate feelin scared all the time and i cant even watch a movie without loosin it. i dunno. guess its kinda dumb.

"The Boy's of St. Vincent", saw it just the other day. Kind of freaked me out too. I think there is a list of movies somewhere on the sight that will warn you about these kinds of movies, Mod's?. I saw the start and kind of was frozen when the scene came on but then it switched to when they were adult's so I thought it would be okay, but then there are a few flashback scenes in the flick, should have took the hint from the start. Definately not recommended for survivor's. The falshbacks were worse because I kind of related to how they just pop up.

Take a look at the list J, I've never looked myself but I'm sure not to many triggering ones aren't on it. Better just to avoid them.

Stay strong
Mike

Here's a small list I took from another site, I was kind of shocked this movie wasn't on it. I'm sure the Mod's will add any not already there.

AN AMERICAN HAUNTING
MYSTIC RIVER
NIGHT LISTENER
FRIED GREEN TOMATOES
PRINCE OF TIDES
FOREST GUMP
SLEEPERS
NOTES ON A SCANDAL
MONSTER RAIN
THE UNSEEN

Mike

It's in the "bookstore" section jason, kind of weird because it seems to be for people who "want" to see these movies????

Should be a sticky.

Mike

the movie was "sleepers" right? the book is much more graphic. i would shy away from it if the movie triggered you. although, the movie does do a really great job of showing the aftermath and comparing how different boys deal with csa later in life.

The killing of Kevin Bacon in that moview was SO FKG SWEET!!!! You cant tell me you didn't cheer inside.

i didn't cheer actually. yeah he was a villian, but i dont belive that anyone should die regardless of the situation.

Jason,

The way you feel isn't dumb at all! The movie "Sleepers" is the one you saw, and please don't get down on yourself for feeling triggered by it. It's a very disturbing film and the abuse scenes are explicit enough to freak out any survivor. In the book I am doing about the way CSA is portrayed in world cinema this film gets a **** (near maximum) trigger warning.

I hope you will go to your grandfather and talk to him about this. Say how you feel and don't be afraid he will think you're a wuss or anything like that. He seems a sensitive caring man and I know he will want to help you. When we feel badly triggered it's crucial that we not sit alone and isolated.

So far as other films are concerned, you could have a look at the list of films I posted in the bookstore. It's not 100% up to date, but you will see how many films there are out there that specifically and directly deal with the issue of male childhood sexual abuse. All the ones available from Amazon are there, and at the beginning I also have a list of those that are not available from Amazon. It's all alphabetical, so you can find what you want pretty quickly.

Based on your reaction to "Sleepers" it might be a good idea for you to avoid all these films for the time being. Many of them are very good and perform an important service by drawing attention to the issue of CSA, but that doesn't mean they should be watched by survivors struggling with those very issues. There are, in fact, some films that I would not recommend that ANY survivor watch if he is alone.

Much love,
Larry

Hello Roadrunner.... I agree with you about these movies not being for some survivors. I always become sad, gloomy and withdrawn after seeing movies with CSA content...I feel like I want to cry everytime I see the abuse on screen...I start to re-live the isolation and the shame of my abuse. The actors do fabulous jobs portraying victims and perps....but it can be too much for me....

thesun3,

Yep. I think we all need to acknowledge where we are in our recovery and keep within safe boundaries. There's nothing wrong with saying, "Hey, I can't watch that film today." We don't owe anyone an audience - our recovery is about ourselves first. That is, we have to have strength for ourselves before we have anything to give for some other task.

Much love,
Larry

Oops, sorry Jason. I was wrong about the title obviously, but I wasn't wrong about having the same feelings you did. Not dumb at all my friend.

Stay strong
Mike

I'm right with you, Rob, about Bacon being confronted and killed--I know, I know, thats a horrible way to think about it. But, to be honest, when I first saw it, I think I was......l happy with the vengence they kinda got.

When first I saw it I had not started my recovery yet, in fact didn't think anything triggering about it, didn't think of myself-guess I buried that sh*t deep.

Now if I saw it, I don't know how I would feel. i mean I have already seen the movie, but even knowing what happens, seeing the parts over would probably really triggering.

Was at my son's High School Band concert tonight, everything was going along fine, until I looked at one of the trumpet players....and realized he was using the exact same posture that my perp used when he played trumpet in high school 35 years ago. Shit just creeps into your life everywhere. Hang in there Jason....