its pretty sad-that i only have this place to go to----------------------nothing else------------at times i feel like sharing and reaching out--------------other times its like why bother-it doesnt mean anything-------------yet i only have this place-to go to---------sometimes i just sit here and stare at the page------------------i think now what do i do----------------sometimes i flip over to porn----------then that gets old---------------------some times i look up other abuse sites -then that gets old------------------------so i come here----------starying at the page----------------------------steve

i took my picture down last week------------no one even noticed------SIGH----------

Steve,

I so understand. This is my only safe place as well. I can spend the day on here doing nothing more than reading topic titles. All I can really offer is that it does get better. Just keep up the good fight.

James

Not a bad place to be Sabata...we are all in it together here....sorry about not noticing the absence of your picture...keep coming back....we are here for you...

I noticed the picture missing...just did not want to ask about it. It seems too personal to venture into. We all have our reasons for pulling pictures, posts, etc.

dont worry about the picture i was feeling sorry for myself

well i pulled it-------------so i wouldnt be noticed-------------and i wouldnt see it--------------i guess i was looking for attention

Steve,

MaleSurvivor can never really suffice as a sole resource, and I hope you will explore ways of getting out into the world and trying new things. It's difficult at first, sure, but things do get better. We just have to take the risks.

Much love,
Larry

Steve,

Many of us are extremely fond of this place, and we don't even notice this fact BECAUSE MS does not demand from us too much. It is so simple to open up a browser and eneter to the DB. It is like a fire in the wood that welcomes every stranger to approach and get warm; one only need to put some "wood" in and talk to other survivors. )

I understand, though, that the feeling of loneliness can brought up sad thoughts about being here at MS and not having elsewhere to go. Hopefully these sadness will end soon.

Alexey

Hi again Steve.

Guess what? You and I have some common issues. Shall I elaborate? Ok, I will. Our lives are empty, and we're not involved in social activities. This limits the quality of our lives. And why do I feel that I have the authority to say this? Well, because, as Larry just hinted at, we're social creatures, we weren't meant to be alone and isolated. If this were not so, then an ideal life would be in an prison cell, where we're fed 3 squares a day, and never have to worry about food or shelter either. You see, it's not just freedom that we value, it's social interaction and becoming involved in other people's lives in a meaningful way. By "meaningful", I'm suggesting that making a DIFFERENCE, in a POSITIVE way, in other people's lives, makes OUR lives more fulfilling.

I see myself every bit as isolated as you, go to work, come home, maybe go to the store, then come home, go to work, come home, maybe go to the store, then come home, go to work, come home, maybe go to the store, then come home, go to work, come home, maybe go to the store, then come home. But I do it for different reasons than you. Frankly, I am ashamed at my underachievements and overall inability to progress and make anything of myself. Alas, I have little motivation to "go out" and "meet people" when the inevitable question comes up, "So, what do you do for a living"? I then have to respond that I'm a short-order cook in a restaurant. And the commmon reply is, "Oh, that's nice", or some other seemingly patronizing toned response. You, Steve, on the other hand, HAVE attained gainful employment to my understanding. So what's holding YOU back from doing anything social? How about joining a gun club? (I was thinking of joining the Michigan Militia heh, just kidding). Are you good with your hands and hand-tools? How about helping out local non-profit groups that help poor families with home-repair projects? In the later example that I just gave, you have an enormous opportunity to connect with people. How about offering regular rides for chronicly ill people to the hospital for treatments and medications? There are all sorts of things you can do with your so-called empty life, but you have to identify what's holding you back before actually address it.

I would suggest that your T help you address what's holding you back from doing some of these things that I've suggested, assuming that they appeal to you at all.

yea i guess i need to get off my dead ass and do something-----i think fear is one of the things holding me back--------------and how i see myself-------------not good-----------------------i wopuld love to be involved in others lives--------------------but scared------------i mite screw it up-------------or the fear of rejection -let down-------------i read some where once------------------its better to have loved-than never loved at all-----------------------------i just dont know at times---------------------steve

sabata
sorry you are feelng shitty
why not go to the chat room and say so
sometimes talking to others help
hope you feel better
best
raul

Steve,

It's pretty easy to call this place comfortable. You can come and go as you please, as someone else said, there isn't any expectations set on you when you come here. Nothing is asked of you... You can read, you can post, and most importantly, you can walk away whenever you like.

I ask you now Steve -- is the real world any different from that? Granted, when we work we tend to have schedules to adhere to... However in social settings we can come and go as we please. We can listen, we can talk, and if we like, we can walk away whenever we like.

If MS.org is your 'comfort zone'... Why not try to think of social situations as being included in the 'comfort zone'. Treat them with the same respect for the site... That you can come, go, talk, listen, or walk away at will.

A favourite quote of mine which really puts things into perspective is as follows:


Those who judge you, steve, don't matter! Those who matter, won't judge you... You have a lot to offer the world but you keep beating yourself up with these fears. Your toughest critic is yourself -- Don't you think you've punished and criticized yourself enough for this lifetime?

Wishing you all the best my Alta friend...
~Brian

so this morning i started looking up volunter work in my area-i was ready-----------after looking at this-the requirments-----------------out going helpfull skilled ect and the forms to fill out------------------i got afrade------------i saw pictures of adukts helping others-----------------i thought to myself-look at all of those adults---------i cant pull this off----------they will know as i have no social skills---------------so -so much for that---------------------steve

Steve, I'm just going back to work after healing from my wreck, and blowing another job. I'm so afraid my stomach has been in knots for the last week. For now, I'm just doing what I know I need to do...kind of like sleepwalking. I know I have to get somewhere, but I don't know if I'm ever going to make it. So I just force one foot in front of the other. Please let those who can help do so, and for now, just *act* like you've got it all together. I promise...I won't tell.

Sabata,
There are other things like helping at the salvation army, and other non profit organizations. Most will welcome the help and it's a good way to start being part of something that adds meaning to your life. there are soup kitchens, churches, habitat for humanity.
Even if you don't have the skills there are a lot of places that will teach you the ropes of whatever it is they need help with.
Habitat also has resale stores that might need someone to help out with moving and setting up new items that come in. Thrift stores need help and thats not too demanding and are flexible.
Just a few other things you might want to try before closing the door on volunteering for something.
peace
Rick

yea i havent given up yet---------------the skills i lack are people skills----------------i see adults as the enemy------------crazey isnt it espically i am a adult--------------but i dont connect-------------------steve

Steve,

I think it's a great idea to get out and try new things in the real world, but it's also important to respect your own limits. It's okay if you have to proceed in small steps - those are the ones that tend to last anyway.

Know what I mean? Try to find activities that look interesting to you, but which also don't challenge you too severely, stress you out and make you anxious about the possibility of failure. Any step forward is worthwhile, and like I said, the small ones tend to be the most solid and reliable ones.

Much love,
Larry