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j-f,

In all honesty I don't think it would be possible for anyone other than a therapist, working with you in face-to-face sessions, to help you work through the confusion you feel. For every aspect of CSA, and especially these really rough issues, working with a therapist will help you sort out your feelings with the minimum of new pain and trauma and arrive at some sense of who you are sexually.

You aren't alone in problems like this, and in fact I bet most survivors have at least some problems or feelings of confusion about their sexual identity. I think the important thing to remember here is that your goal has to be to discover who you really are, not to aim for this or that particular goal. You have to be true to yourself first, before you can reach out to others and offer to share a life with them.

Much love,
Larry