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#192961 - 11/28/07 10:12 AM HELP FOR FRIENDS: SUGGESTIONS
KENKEN Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/25/07
Posts: 762
Loc: NOTHERN COLORADO
Hi all:

My GF is really having a hard time dealing with my CSA. We do live together and has posted some on MS. However, I am wondering and asking if anyone knows of a site where she can talk and get help? This site has helped some, but don't feel it is a really safe place for family and friends of victims. Any help would be appreciated by her and me.

Thanks for the input.

Ken

_________________________
I AM A GOOD PERSON, I AM A GOOD MAN

From the Movie: Antwone Fisher

***WOR ALUMNI SEQUOIA MARCH 2008***

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#192981 - 11/28/07 12:09 PM Re: HELP FOR FRIENDS: SUGGESTIONS [Re: KENKEN]
honey girl Offline
Member

Registered: 10/09/06
Posts: 245
Loc: Midwest US
Dear Ken,

I am not sure what you intended, but when you say "you don't feel it is a really safe place for family and friends of victims," then I am not clear why you are asking us for other suggestions, or what would make things feel more safe. What seems unsafe to you? That anyone can read posts? That sometimes there are disagreements about strategy? It's true, there are some pointed comments that get made among us. It's not a matter of total acceptance, 24/7, if someone posts something that seems to raise questions. I've been on both ends of that kind of exchange, and sometimes it seems to be what it takes.

Anyway, I am not really interested in being defensive, though I am sure there's part of that in my reaction. Apparently, there is a member section of the site (which I have not visited myself) that is private for F & F only--meaning only other registered member F & F can post & read posts there--and maybe that will meet the level of security you and she find necessary.

As always, one must be aware that there are unavoidable risks with online communication. People are not always as they may appear to be! Thank goodness for the moderators, on that account. But in a virtual environment, it is impossible to say for sure. Part of the territory, no matter what.

Good luck to you both.

Peace,
HG

_________________________
I'm just a poor wayfaring stranger, a million miles away from home.

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#193058 - 11/28/07 09:39 PM Re: HELP FOR FRIENDS: SUGGESTIONS [Re: KENKEN]
indygal Offline
Member

Registered: 06/22/06
Posts: 439
Originally Posted By: KENKEN
Hi all:

My GF is really having a hard time dealing with my CSA. We do live together and has posted some on MS. However, I am wondering and asking if anyone knows of a site where she can talk and get help? This site has helped some, but don't feel it is a really safe place for family and friends of victims. Any help would be appreciated by her and me.

Thanks for the input.

Ken



i, too, am blown away by this assumption - as in if you aren't safe here - ? where are you?

as internet portals go, this one has got to be one of the most reliable.

how about if she just reads some threads for a while first, maybe she can learn more that way?

if the internet is too threatening then perhaps seeking prof help is the only answer.

all the best,
indy

_________________________
my avatar is one of the Battle Angel characters, fighting the good fight.

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#193854 - 12/04/07 11:51 PM Re: HELP FOR FRIENDS: SUGGESTIONS [Re: KENKEN]
lostcowboy Offline
Member

Registered: 11/10/04
Posts: 797
Loc: North Texas
Originally Posted By: KENKEN
Hi all:

My GF is really having a hard time dealing with my CSA. We do live together and has posted some on MS. However, I am wondering and asking if anyone knows of a site where she can talk and get help? This site has helped some, but don't feel it is a really safe place for family and friends of victims. Any help would be appreciated by her and me.

Thanks for the input.

Ken

Hi Ken, first let me say that there are two parts of this web site, the public side where you have been posting, and the private side where only paying members can see your posts. Of course she would have to be a paying member in order to use that part of the site.

That being said, I do know of another site yo may want to try for free. That is Pandora's Aquarium , Pandora's Aquarium is a large site of mostly females, but they do allow guys there. It is a site that is more private, you have to be a registered member in order to read the posts. If both of you register on there, one will be the primary survivor, and the other will be the secondary survivor. Being a secondary survivor has restrictions, as in not being able to read the primary survivors posts, or the posts of the other survivors.

Hope this helps,
Clifford

_________________________
"Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow. Don't walk behind me, I may not lead. Just walk beside me and be my friend." - Albert Camus
Pretty much my life as I have posted so far. Triggers!

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#193860 - 12/05/07 12:13 AM Re: HELP FOR FRIENDS: SUGGESTIONS [Re: KENKEN]
WalkingSouth Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 16264
Ken, another site is The Survivors Forum. As with Pandora's Aquarium it is a site inhabited mostly by females tho there are a few male participants.

I wish both of you the best.

John

_________________________
“Life’s journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting ‘Holy ____…! What a ride!’” ~Hunter S. Thompson

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