I'm glad to hear you are getting some relief! Boy, that stuff is really hard to bear when we feel so ashamed that we have to bear it alone.
They say that a burden shared is lighter by half, and that's what happens to me here. Just getting it out of my head and letting people who understand in on the 'secret' is enough to make life seem tolerable.
No magic bullet solutions, no hocus-pocus, no sending away for special elixirs; just honestly sharing what seems impossibly hard to share, and sharing it with men who understand because they have all been there where we are. That's where the miracles occur. It's available to anyone with the guts to show up and speak out.
That's the great secret of this place for me.
Sounds like you have a wonderfully courageous partner in your wife. Hey, the duke, you must have some pretty damned good qualities, because women like her don't mess around with guys who aren't worthwhile.
Take some time to congratulate yourself. you have just done one of the most difficult things humans are called upon to do. To appear before god and others at our most vulnerable, when we are the most lost and confused. That takes a real man with real courage.
You're doing a heroic thing by sharing here. No telling how many men you may have helped; how many people you may have saved from living the torture you have had to go through because you care enough and are brave enough to speak up.
Way to go, buddy. I'm glad you're here. You are helping me a lot.
Hope to hear more from you as the days go by.
"Poke salad Annie, 'gators got you granny
Everybody said it was a shame
'Cause her mama was aworkin' on the chain-gang"
-Tony Joe White