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#193623 - 12/03/07 05:02 PM Re: confused... [Re: bardo213]
Lazarus Offline

Registered: 07/01/07
Posts: 851
Loc: Below the radar, USA
Funny your should ask; Craig and I have just been exchanging Martini recipies...

I wish I could help you with that one, but alas, Alcohol is my preferred method of self-medicating for the same reasons you mentioned. It's fast, it doesn't last too long and it's cheap. BUT it's not a good long-term therapy.

Nothing solves the anger and emotional pain except talking and understanding. They don't have a pill for that, and you won't find it in a bottle. That's why I'm here...


"That which does not kill us, surely makes us stonger." - Neitsche

#193631 - 12/03/07 05:24 PM Re: confused... [Re: bardo213]
lostcowboy Offline

Registered: 11/10/04
Posts: 797
Loc: North Texas
Hi lynch, why do you think you use alcohol? I found that I was using it to block my anxiety feelings. Once I got married, I no longer had to approach women I was attracted to, and my anxiety levels dropped. If I was to lose my wife, I would likely start up again.

Take care,

"Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow. Don't walk behind me, I may not lead. Just walk beside me and be my friend." - Albert Camus
Pretty much my life as I have posted so far. Triggers!

#193643 - 12/03/07 06:13 PM Re: [Re: lostcowboy]
bardo213 Offline

Registered: 11/21/07
Posts: 811

Edited by bardo213 (06/21/13 02:00 PM)

#193653 - 12/03/07 07:22 PM Re: confused... [Re: lostcowboy]
courageousone Offline
New Here

Registered: 12/03/07
Posts: 3
I didnt invite the abuse or the nightmares and wetting the bed and doubting all those i came in contact with. I was a fun loving little boy who was abused and because of my abuse im changed forever im conflicted with my sexual identity becuase my choice was stripped from me and my self image is out there somewhere i grew up with 2 parents that were both alcoholics and come from a very large family when my mother died i just went deeper into an eternal sleepwalking and fantasy world to cope with my shame and my hurt. It isnt wrong to question our sexuality it is wrong to condemn it. Question is do i accept me for me pain,depression,shame,guilt,powerlessness etc .... I'm the only one who knows how much ive hurt all these years. Recently i shared this with some family they said to me i knew something like that was wrong with you and why your so messed up. I wanted to crawl back inside after that statement so many people dont think before they speak and they often dont listen to everything a person is saying it hurts to be judged by strangers and it really is painful when family and friends do this.

#193672 - 12/03/07 09:17 PM Re: confused... [Re: courageousone]
Therese Offline
New Here

Registered: 11/23/07
Posts: 24
Dear Courageousone (what a beautiful name!)
I'm not a male survivor, I'm not even male (I'm the wife of a male survivor)so I don't know if it's OK for me to be on this section.
Anyway, after reading what you wwrote, I'mnot sure you're being judged by family members. It sounds to me like they're saying they always knew somethin was wrong (not with you, but with the situation you were in). It seems to me they're acknowledging your pain and suffering, but saying they didn't quite know whatwas going on or how to intervene. I could be very wrong, but it seems like this would be something worth considering.

#193688 - 12/03/07 11:41 PM Re: [Re: Therese]
bardo213 Offline

Registered: 11/21/07
Posts: 811

Edited by bardo213 (06/21/13 02:00 PM)

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