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#193133 - 11/29/07 10:36 AM Re: confused... [Re: lostcowboy]
cbfull Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/26/07
Posts: 386
Loc: Ohio
I understand your frustration with other people possibly judging you, I used to judge others that way but it was because I was dealing with my own insecurities about my sexuality. I now understand that it is unhealthy and it only makes my life more miserable to think like that.

If it is at all possible, I think you should find a way to "not care" what people think of your sexuality. They will be the one's who have egg on their faces when they eventually realize that they were wrong.

_________________________
Craig

Guilt and shame have never done any of us any good at all.

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#193178 - 11/29/07 03:43 PM Re: confused... [Re: bardo213]
Lazarus Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/01/07
Posts: 851
Loc: Below the radar, USA
Well said, Craig. You made my point. I've never really cared whether people thought I was gay or straight.

But LynchMob, what I don't understand is this;

Originally Posted By: lynchmob212001
I feel that iam straight and always will feel that way but when I hear from people that "think they know me and my sexuality" I start to question myself am I or am I not and I lose it I get angry and become parannoyed...


If you know you are str8, why would you doubt yourself just because someone else might think you're gay? Do you 'lose it' because of your homophobia and resentment that someone thinks you are something that you dread being?

You should chill. Being gay is not a sin, and being called thought of as gay is not the worst insult I can think of, by far.

Lazarus

_________________________
"That which does not kill us, surely makes us stonger." - Neitsche

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#193189 - 11/29/07 07:22 PM Re: [Re: Lazarus]
bardo213 Offline
Guest

Registered: 11/21/07
Posts: 811
?...


Edited by bardo213 (06/21/13 01:59 PM)

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#193194 - 11/29/07 08:08 PM Re: confused... [Re: bardo213]
Lazarus Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/01/07
Posts: 851
Loc: Below the radar, USA
Yes, that is true. There are a lot of rude people, and a lot of people will search for buttons to push to see what kind of reaction they get. Evidently, being called a fag gets a reaction out of you, otherwise nobody would have done it a second time.

From your first sentence you seem to indicate that you have a proverbial 'chip on your shoulder' when it comes to being gay. Why is that? In America these days, it's not such an unusual thing as to have many public consequences. Most people I have run into say, "0h, OK..." and that's it. But YOU have a big problem with that and some people will exploit that as a weakness. Not that you're gay, but that you hate being called gay. Live... and learn.

I also think a big part of that chip on your shoulder is you are mad that you were abused, and that has given you a sensitivity to being teased. A 'short fuse' in other words. That is completely understandable, and very common. But If you hide anything, you should hide that fuse. Don't hang it out there for people to light, because if you do, they will.

I'm not going to go into the whole 'gay' thing, unless you ask. I could tell you lots of reasons why being gay is not only NOT immoral, but is also pretty darned fulfilling (no pun intended). To each his own.

I hope you find peace.

Lazarus

_________________________
"That which does not kill us, surely makes us stonger." - Neitsche

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#193211 - 11/30/07 03:03 AM Re: [Re: Lazarus]
bardo213 Offline
Guest

Registered: 11/21/07
Posts: 811
...


Edited by bardo213 (06/21/13 01:59 PM)

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#193217 - 11/30/07 07:36 AM Re: confused... [Re: bardo213]
cbfull Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/26/07
Posts: 386
Loc: Ohio
lynchmob,

Could it be that you are lumping "gay" and "abuser" as one entity? It almost sounds like in your mind they are the same thing, which is completely understandable, especially for someone who's obviously heterosexual and has been abused.

Roadrunner recently pointed out to me that I was lumping two separate issues together in my mind, and it blew me away to even try to separate the two in my mind. If you are interested it's here: One issue at a time... parental mental illness

Just some thoughts.

BTW, I don't want to offend you or cramp your writing style, but it's very hard to read your responses. There's very little punctuation and it would help if you could break them up a bit. In their current format, it sounds a lot like you are just ranting, it's too hard to tell.

_________________________
Craig

Guilt and shame have never done any of us any good at all.

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#193248 - 11/30/07 04:04 PM Re [Re: cbfull]
bardo213 Offline
Guest

Registered: 11/21/07
Posts: 811
..


Edited by bardo213 (06/21/13 02:00 PM)

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#193250 - 11/30/07 04:27 PM Re: [Re: bardo213]
bardo213 Offline
Guest

Registered: 11/21/07
Posts: 811
...


Edited by bardo213 (06/21/13 02:01 PM)

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#193262 - 11/30/07 09:27 PM Re: confused... [Re: bardo213]
Lazarus Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/01/07
Posts: 851
Loc: Below the radar, USA
Good for you Lynch. It's good that you recognize these things. And it's good that you can give yourself a break and not beat youself over the head about things... In other words it's good that you're thinking about it, and even better that you are NOT obsessing over it.

Craig, that was a great post between you and Larry. I replied to it in it's thread.

Ciao, baby!

Laz

_________________________
"That which does not kill us, surely makes us stonger." - Neitsche

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#193401 - 12/02/07 03:54 AM Re: [Re: Lazarus]
bardo213 Offline
Guest

Registered: 11/21/07
Posts: 811
////


Edited by bardo213 (06/21/13 02:00 PM)

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