something i noticed is how dh is always doing stuff behind my back,not exactly acting out. it makes me feel like his is a teen & trying tto get away with stuff behimd his momma's back. he does not share much and i'm left to go behind him all the time cheking up on him picking up his messes from not thinking it threw. i wonder if his hiding things fr me is a replay from the secretss he kept from his mom & dad about the abuse back than? anyone hav this with ther boyfnd or husband 2?

-k

k,

This could easily be left over activity he learned as a child trying to hide the abuse and resulting fallout from his folks.

I don't know about him, but I had to live a continual lie in order to hide the abuse and my acting out as a teen from my parents. I learned it well. So well in fact that when I grew up and got married I was still living the lie even though at that point there was nothing to keep covered up. I would go out of my way to tell an untruth to my wife when it would have been easier to tell the truth, but the habit was so ingrained in my psyche I knew no other way.

While this may not be his problem, it's worth considering at least.

Lots of love,

John