People have been after me to take psychotropic drugs to aid in my recovery and depression for as long as I can remember. I'm very hesitant to do this though.

I know that the achilles heel of contemporary science is it's consuming arrogance, when in reality we know precious little about most things, the human mind in particular. Pumping a myriad of mind-altering chemicals into unbelievably complex brain chemistry without science really having much actual Knowledge about the unique reactions/interreactions each of us may have to them seems profoundly questionable to me. We're behaving like toddlers with a ten-million piece lego set.

Our culture has become obsessed with the immediate gratification of every urge and ailment. Indeed we've come to feel all but Entitled to such simplistic cures in recent years, thanks to Madison Avenue. Seemingly over half the airtime of this year's Superbowl was purchased by med-pushers. Even our children have become sedated little zomblins. It moves me to tears thinking about it. People take meds to counteract the side effects of other meds. Meds on top of meds on top of meds. And don't forget the liver damage and other Physical dysfunction issues.

Juxtapose this with those who advocate that we have whatever resources within ourselves we might need to deal with anything in our lives--the Divine Spark, some call it; all that is lacking is knowledge in how to access and apply these abilities. Well, I personally believe we need other people we can trust to care about us in this life. But making your brain and body a drug-laden chili pot just seems counter-
intuitive to me. At the very least, it takes ME out of control and puts the drugs IN control of just too many reactions within me.

Please don't get me wrong. I'm not throwing water on the whole CONCEPT of chemical assistance. Its just that we know so very, VERY little about the mind, as much as our over-inflated egos would like to think otherwise.

The temptation to take responsibility out of our own hands and put it in ANYone/thing else's is a VERY powerful one, particularly in those of us who are hurting so badly. Oftentimes i feel like a soldier mortally wounded far behind enemy lines, the only options being to either finish myself off or stagger my way to safety on my own. I know the desperation, i know the ineffable agony, i know the consuming loneliness; and its why i've written this post. I've never heard of fellas like us on more than just a couple of meds ever benefitting substantially. More seem only to add yet another source of pain to one's life and ...that's the last thing we need.


Warmly, Gary

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Whence comes ethics?