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#192568 - 11/25/07 02:05 AM Re: Realistic timeframe to recovery? [Re: roadrunner]
Frog Offline
Guest

Registered: 08/05/07
Posts: 291
Loc: Arizona
Originally Posted By: roadrunner
Frog,

Fantastic! Go back and reread it, if you will. I put in the link after I first posted my comment above. I think it will really help you to see how other guys allowed themselves to poke fun at this one. Sometimes a smile really does work wonders, especially if we can do it together.

Much love,
Larry


My FAVORITE part of that post: and I quote:

"Oh yeah, I'm also going to demand answers for the "why me" questions, and when I don't get answers I like I'm going to get really freaking mad and hit something."

_________________________
A Native American elder once described his own inner struggles in this manner: "Inside of me there are two dogs. One of the dogs is mean and evil. The other dog is good. The mean dog fights the good dog all the time." When asked which dog wins, he reflected for a moment, "The one I feed the most."

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#192570 - 11/25/07 02:07 AM Re: Realistic timeframe to recovery? [Re: Frog]
frost Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/15/07
Posts: 1377
Loc: Eh?
ahh I think its time I went and visited Fuck Recovery Day again.

_________________________
Boom!

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#192571 - 11/25/07 02:17 AM Re: Realistic timeframe to recovery? [Re: frost]
Frog Offline
Guest

Registered: 08/05/07
Posts: 291
Loc: Arizona

Thanks Larry and Brian...I really needed that after all this holiday shit and
the past couple months of "recovery" research.... \:\)

_________________________
A Native American elder once described his own inner struggles in this manner: "Inside of me there are two dogs. One of the dogs is mean and evil. The other dog is good. The mean dog fights the good dog all the time." When asked which dog wins, he reflected for a moment, "The one I feed the most."

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#192572 - 11/25/07 02:48 AM Re: Realistic timeframe to recovery? [Re: Frog]
frost Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/15/07
Posts: 1377
Loc: Eh?
That's sounding a little more positive, Frog \:\)

Glad to hear you're feeling a tad better. Have a happy Sunday.

_________________________
Boom!

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#192580 - 11/25/07 06:48 AM Re: Realistic timeframe to recovery? [Re: frost]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Frog,

Hey, well done bro! Stuff like this just keeps proving to me over and over that when we feel low and lost the best thing we can do is talk about it. The words and content almost don't matter...just TALK \:\) .

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#192581 - 11/25/07 06:52 AM Re: Realistic timeframe to recovery? [Re: roadrunner]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
And here, hopefully with David's blessing, I want to repost the most glorious moment in that wonderful thread:

Quote:
I demand the anger, grief (and more) stop
My journal makes a damn good doorstop
No chat groups, posts, or soul exposure
I’ll whomp the next guy who says “closure”
My inner child should be adored
But my outer adult’s fucking bored
Let’s hijack the “journey of discovery”
Today at least, we’ll skip recovery


I swear...I really thought I was going to wet myself when I read this - I was laughing THAT hard. \:D

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#192612 - 11/25/07 11:38 AM Re: Realistic timeframe to recovery? [Re: roadrunner]
Frog Offline
Guest

Registered: 08/05/07
Posts: 291
Loc: Arizona

"I’ll whomp the next guy who says “closure”"

was/is still as funny as the first time I read it...

Last night is was laughing and thought I would wake the house...it was late \:\)

_________________________
A Native American elder once described his own inner struggles in this manner: "Inside of me there are two dogs. One of the dogs is mean and evil. The other dog is good. The mean dog fights the good dog all the time." When asked which dog wins, he reflected for a moment, "The one I feed the most."

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#192618 - 11/25/07 12:25 PM Re: Realistic timeframe to recovery? [Re: Frog]
GateKPR4 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/28/07
Posts: 955
Loc: North Carolina, USA
Hey Frog,
I know how you feel. I have been in some sort of recovery for many years, it was only after 2 years in therapy did I realize that almost all my issues revolved around my abuse which ended at 17yo.

I have discovered since then I am not a drug addict, I am not a sex addict, I am not an alcoholic, I am not bi-polar, I do not have treatment resistant depression. What I am is a normal person dealing with an abnormal childhood. What I feel is normal for what I have been through. It's OK for me now and I know that I will recover from over time.
The best thing I did for myself was to trust my therapist and tell her what really was going on in my head.

In the past month since then, my life is changing in so many positive ways I can not express them in words. today I know for certain that my abuse and neglect has always been the issue and I now refuse to spend the rest of my life as a victim.

As far as a time frame there may not be one but that does not mean the rest of my life will be spent in recovery.
I had to step back from recovery and rediscover life.
This is my experience after 4 1/2 years in recovery.
I spent 3hrs a day 7 days a week for almost 3 years sometimes 6hrs on weekends on recovery.
The last 1 1/2 years struggling to figure out why I was getting worse and not better.
What I discovered is that I can not live/hide in recovery.
There is work for me to do for myself,and now that I have the time to work on me I find the results are much more profound than anything I have been through to this date.
peace
Rick

_________________________
I'm a normal person dealing with abnormal experiences.
The greatest discoveries we will find within ourselves.
Ricky
__m_ô¿ô_m__
|| || || || || || |

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#192628 - 11/25/07 12:51 PM Re: Realistic timeframe to recovery? [Re: GateKPR4]
Frog Offline
Guest

Registered: 08/05/07
Posts: 291
Loc: Arizona
Originally Posted By: GateKPR4


As far as a time frame there may not be one but that does not mean the rest of my life will be spent in recovery.

I spent 3hrs a day 7 days a week for almost 3 years sometimes 6hrs on weekends on recovery.
The last 1 1/2 years struggling to figure out why I was getting worse and not better.
What I discovered is that I can not live/hide in recovery.

Rick


This is the exact fear I have, is that I will spend the rest of my life
consumed by recovery...I cannot handle the thought of this prospect...

_________________________
A Native American elder once described his own inner struggles in this manner: "Inside of me there are two dogs. One of the dogs is mean and evil. The other dog is good. The mean dog fights the good dog all the time." When asked which dog wins, he reflected for a moment, "The one I feed the most."

Top
#192648 - 11/25/07 03:00 PM Re: Realistic timeframe to recovery? [Re: Frog]
MemoryVault Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/01/07
Posts: 693
Loc: NJ
Thanks, guys--sorry this won't be a funny poem:

I also plunged into an intense kind of "recovery" years ago--it was too much, too overwhelming. I, and probably my therapists, believed at the time that what you had to do was relive as much of the pain as you could, as quickly and intensely as you could, to "get it out." I fell apart emotionally and ditched the entire idea of recovery for many years. I built a life for myself instead.

I used to think I was playing hooky from the work that I needed to do, but that time off, just living my life, was part of the process. I'm stronger and readier to face the dragons now.

I don't believe the same things about recovery that I used to. It's not a series of flaming hoops you have to jump through, a minefield you have to cross, and someday, you're done, assuming you make it out alive. It's the act of facing what went wrong, opening yourself up to support and guidance, forgiving yourself, celebrating what's getting better, and sometimes, taking a long break. Maybe it's doing what you always do, but with better understanding and more compassion. Maybe "recovery" slides imperceptably into plain old "growing" and it never stops.

A couple of days ago, I wrote out a list of every major thing that went wrong in my family -- every disaster that could be the subject of lots and lots of therapy. I couldn't read the thing when I was done--it wouldn't even work as a screenplay. But I tried reading it again this morning, and got depressed and overwhelmed. ("No way is this my life!") Eventually, I got up and took a long shower, got dressed and went for a walk, blasting some cathartic music (Marc Almond). I feel better now, and Sebastian, the cat, is purring on my lap as I'm typing this.

That list of stuff, and getting overwhelmed, are recovery. But so are the walk, the music, and the cat.

If it's too much now, Frog, if the work is "consuming" you, a break may also be recovery.

David


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