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#191310 - 11/13/07 06:57 PM I Can See Aug. 24 1982 age 18
GateKPR4 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/28/07
Posts: 955
Loc: North Carolina, USA
I wrote this after my father passed from Cirrhosis of the Liver which was on October 31 1981.
If there was anything good about my fathers passing it was that it got me to move out of my abusers house and back home to my mom. I was very lost and confused about my life and the future of my relationship with the future mother of my son.

I CAN SEE
To forgive and forget is the way to be, but I'm not blind for I can see. you look to find whats best for you and whats best for me, only your still blind and see what you want to see. They say that Satan is in my eyes to me they are lies. Many look and and fade away how I wish they would stay. Father is gone, mother is here I have no pity I hold back the tears. Every day I sit alone with so called friends and thinking of the girl I love sitting at home. Why does this girl hate and fight, yet she does it with each passing night. They never forgive and hardly forget. A mistake is made and its here to stay they will never let you forget what happened that day.
I care for her much and she cares for me Only she is still blind but I can see.
peace
Rick

_________________________
I'm a normal person dealing with abnormal experiences.
The greatest discoveries we will find within ourselves.
Ricky
__m_τΏτ_m__
|| || || || || || |

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#192479 - 11/24/07 02:05 PM Re: I Can See Aug. 24 1982 age 18 [Re: GateKPR4]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Rick,

Was she as blind as you thought back in 1981? In my case, my wife knew me a lot better than I thought!

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#192517 - 11/24/07 08:59 PM Re: I Can See Aug. 24 1982 age 18 [Re: roadrunner]
GateKPR4 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/28/07
Posts: 955
Loc: North Carolina, USA
No she was really not as blind as I thought. In the dark about my abuse yes. My thinking at that time was I knew things she didn't.
She visited me this summer and I finally told her about the csa, mind control, and the pedophile. She always thought it was my dads death that caused my pain but I was so filled with fear, guilt, and shame I would not trust anyone with what I went through.

She was very surprised about all that and now she understands more about the way I was.

_________________________
I'm a normal person dealing with abnormal experiences.
The greatest discoveries we will find within ourselves.
Ricky
__m_τΏτ_m__
|| || || || || || |

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