Hey guys I wrote this years ago but found it and wanted to share it. When I first started recovery I used to write a lot as means to help me understand what I was feeling. Hope you like it.
A Clear Autumn Day
It was a clear autumn day as I started my walk
The crispness of the air filled my lungs
The sun makes the dew on the leaves look like a million diamonds dancing like faries
Mother nature painted a perfect day to walk in teh woods
The oranges, yellows, reds of the leaves mixed as only a master painter could
The song the birds were singing was like an orchestra playing in perfect harmony
The sunrise in the east exploded as if to scream "See me world wonder at my beauty."
I walked deeper into the woods, allowing my body, mind and soul to be lost in it all.
Suddenly, I look up; I've never seen this part of the woods
I spin around
The birds are no longer singing.
The colors on teh leaves, brown, dead, decaying
The darkness starts to enjulf me
Slowly at first; all most to slow to even be seen
My mind races at every sound, every twig snap
My body freezes in fear
My soul trembles at the loneliness.
The darkness moves closer and closer.
I run as fast as I can.
Turning at every path I can find.
The panic swells in my like a title wave, so small no one see's it.
Not even I.
I run faster and faster from teh darkness.
I can feel my energy fleeting from my body.
My mind says, "Lay down, let it have you."
My body says "Run faster!"
My soul trembles in teh corner like a lost child.
I stop and scream, "WHY! WHY ME? WHY THIS DAY!?!?!?"
I wait for my answer.
I stand not moveing a muscle
The only sound I hear is my own breathing.
The only thing I feel is numb.
The only thing I smell is rot.
The only thing I taste is death.
I ask again as I fall to my knee's ready to give up.
I cry into my hands and ask softly "why?"
The only answer I get back?
"Because you are alone!"
I wrote this when I was in the hosptial. The doctor asked me to write something the explained how I was feeling, because I wouldnt open up in group about my feelings. And he wanted me to sharel with the group. So I wrote this and I couldnt even read it had to have one of the other guys read it for me. Well anyways I sure hope you like it.
I have more issues than Rolling Stone!