I am new and would like some feedback…….

Hi I am 32 now and my abuse started when I was six and lasted for 7-8 years. My abuser was my brother whom is 9 years older then I am.

My abuse started with him showing me pornography, then that led to touching, oral sex, and penetration.

I have a wonderful wife and children that stand behind me. And I feel fortunate to find a counselor that actually helps.

I deal with a lot of post traumatic stress, and suffer panic attacks daily. I also am right now facing a lot of anger towards my brother. I don't know what to do with.

It seems my brother doesn't understand the impact that this has had on me. I have talked to my brother several times, he admits to it, but still does not grasp what he has done. And he show’s no real forgiveness. He never asks if he can help me. And he does not seem to think he needs to get help himself.

This is all I can say right now…I am really lost.

This is my fist post, and I would appreciate some response, as I am trying to see if this is a good site for support and encouragement. It has taken me almost 4 weeks to just write this…..my wife as you all may have met is Amanda. She speaks nothing but good things about this site. So thanks to all of you who have been there for her.

Hi Samuel,

Welcome, Glad you and Amanda found your way here, but so very sorry that you needed us in the first place.

Your experience is shared by many of us here in one way or another. The one thing I discovered here was how healing it was to be able to talk to other survivors about it. They understood! It was like I'd finally come home.

Hang on, Friend. We'll be right here along side you as you try to figure it all out. There'll be times when you are helping us to understand and times when it'll be the other way around. Either way we win.

Lots of love,

John