i think for me that neil has to be gay because he is me. like.. when i was watching the movie (and then reading the book after) i was blown away how much we paralell each other. i had this sick infatuation with him because it was like i was reading about myself. if neil is meerly acting out, what does that say about me? up until this point i dont really think that i "act out" but rather, am just a slut. when neil was in new york, i dont consider that acting out either. that was a job. he used what he knew to make money. how is that acting out? he learned a skill and used it to his advantage.

as for him trying to recreate the feeling he got from coach... is that wrong? that he wanted to feel needed and appreciated?

if he's not gay, then people can say i'm not gay... because we are the same. its funny but no one has ever questioned me on it. kids know they like guys or girl at a really early age. neil obviously was attracted to the coach when he first met him. the scene when his mom drops him off at practice.. you can tell. i think his thing with the coach made him like older guys with bushy mustaches. brawny men, i think he calls them. i think its possible the the abuse he went through shifted what his ideal "mate" would be, but not did not switch his pefrence for men versus women.

p.s. larry, when we take over the world, you can be a honorary 'mo.

A couple of questions for ya'll...cuz I'm wondering if I can find some "me answers" in this story.

1) Would the book be less triggering?
2) Is there any good that comes from reading or viewing this?

Rob,

I read the book awhile back, and my recollection is that the book is very triggering too, but in different ways. The director of the film has taken some liberties with the text.

Have you seen my account of the film a few pages above? That might give yo an idea what to expect. I think the film is a masterpiece, but still, VERY triggery. If you're not in a safe place it will stick a lot of graphic images in your head.

On the "me answers", well, I can say seeing the film was a kind of breakthrough for me because it showed me how much like Neil I was when I was a young man. Facing those issues was a big step for me.

Much love,
Larry

What about Bruno?

L.

Rob. For me the movie also reminded me of me and my nabor when I was 7, only it brought back a flood of bad memories.

I had new material to fuel my nightmares, which it did.

I guess if I was in a safer place at the time, maybe It would not have been as bad, but I don't plan on seeing it again anytime soon.

the answer to Q # 1 is a little less
at the time #2 would be NO! but now I don't know

Here is a suggestion and I am not sure if it is a good or bad one. Goto youtube and type in Mysterious Skin in search and watch the trailer-I just watched it and its only 5 min. long. I thought that it was a little triggering, just the imagery, even though there is no sound. Then see if you still wanna see it.

Larry, if you don't mind, can you do this before Rob does to make sure it is OK?

Logan

No. I take that back. I found the trailer to be very triggering. Maybe it is because I have already seen the movie and it reminded me of it.


Logan

larry, of course bruno too. he is already gay remember? him in his boa?

I don't think so, Rob. The book is all first-person narratives from different people--the action is pretty immediate and in-your-face. In some key ways, it's darker than the movie.


I got a lot out of it that I think was good, but that was because I was in a place where I wasn't feeling much of anything, and getting hit with the feelings was something I needed. It makes sense if it's not what someone else needs now. Later, seeing it again, I was able to use it to make sense of a lot of how I've lived my life.

It is a good movie -- It's not sensational, it's not TV-movie-of-the-week, and it's very true to what happens to a lot of survivors. It also doesn't tack on any easy answers or hopeful endings, and in many ways, it's the opposite of a feel-good movie. It is depressing as hell, but yeah, that's it--that's what it's like.

If you saw it, Rob, you'd absolutely identify with one, maybe both, of the lead characters. But it's basically a two-hour flashback.

The trailer already hits home hard on the theme of violated innocence. It just goes to show how triggering the film as a whole is - even the trailer is something survivors should watch out for.

Looking back at what I said above, I guess what really helped me in seeing this film was that it showed me very clearly how even an older teenager or young adult who is supposedly old enough to "take care of himself" can fall apart and re-enact all the scenarios of the broken boy he was in his childhood. It helped me to see that while I had to take responsibility for repairing the damage now, in the present, I didn't have to do that by accepting blame for things that childhood abuse set me up for when I was 20.

Much love,
Larry

THAT's all I need to hear (to stay away from it). I own it on DVD and think I'll just leave it in storage (out of reach of children)