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#191694 - 11/17/07 12:39 PM A good memory
BJK Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/02/07
Posts: 1526
With all of the bad memories that have been surfacing as of late, I thought I'd share a good memory that I just remembered upon waking up this morning.

I was perhaps 20 years old, and I was with my aunt and her two little nieces. They were about 5 and 8 years old at the time. We had eaten at a McDonald's, and as we were on our way back to the car, the 8 year old realized she had to go to the bathroom. My aunt told the 5 year old and me to go out to the car to start it (it was very cold), and she would be right out. As she was leaving us, she told her 5 year old daughter to "Make sure you hold his hand when you're crossing the parking lot."

What a good parent.

I was deathly afraid of taking this 5-year old's hand to cross this parking lot, so I put it down by my side towards her just slightly in her direction so she could grab it if she wanted to. I felt a tentative child's hand in mine. It was cold and shaking. I looked down at her, and she looked up at me with the most frightened eyes I had ever seen at the time. I gave her a tentative smile, and her eyes got bright. Her grip on my hand tightened, her shaking stopped, and she smiled wide.

I had tucked this memory into the back of my mind for some reason, but it just goes to show what kind of unconditional trust a child has. She was afriad, and a simple smile completely got rid of that fear.

Bryan

_________________________
Revenge is nothing more than another way of perpetuating abuse.

What the world needs now
Is some new words of wisdom
Like la la la la la la la la la.
-David Lowery

Having a friend who will keep a secret for you is worthless compared to a friend who won't keep a secret from you.

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#191695 - 11/17/07 12:43 PM Re: A good memory [Re: BJK]
James_dup1 Offline


Registered: 04/13/02
Posts: 1332
Loc: Wyoming
AWWWWW..... good memorys are fun to have. And yes lots of times all it takes is a simple smile to make a child's fear go away..way to watch out for her. \:\)

James

_________________________
I have more issues than Rolling Stone!


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#191709 - 11/17/07 02:13 PM Re: A good memory [Re: BJK]
frost Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/15/07
Posts: 1377
Loc: Eh?
Bryan,

I can't explain without a massive diatribe how much this post means to me. What you've said speaks so personally to what I am dealing with this very moment.

Thank you. I can't thank you enough for posting this.

Maybe some day I'll be able to explain what I'm talking about but right now its beyond words.

~Brian

_________________________
I farted so huge, my ass exploded. There was poo everywhere and it got into the fan too. What a fucking mess.

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#191711 - 11/17/07 02:34 PM Re: A good memory [Re: James_dup1]
BJK Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/02/07
Posts: 1526
Originally Posted By: James_dup1
AWWWWW..... good memorys are fun to have. And yes lots of times all it takes is a simple smile to make a child's fear go away..way to watch out for her. \:\)


Thank you for the comment, James. It is so unfortunate that such a simple smile can be used for such diabolical purposes as well.

I'm sad and happy at the same time right now.

Bryan

_________________________
Revenge is nothing more than another way of perpetuating abuse.

What the world needs now
Is some new words of wisdom
Like la la la la la la la la la.
-David Lowery

Having a friend who will keep a secret for you is worthless compared to a friend who won't keep a secret from you.

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#191712 - 11/17/07 02:34 PM Re: A good memory [Re: frost]
BJK Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/02/07
Posts: 1526
Originally Posted By: frost
Thank you. I can't thank you enough for posting this.


You are welcome, Brian. And thank you for your reply.

Bryan

_________________________
Revenge is nothing more than another way of perpetuating abuse.

What the world needs now
Is some new words of wisdom
Like la la la la la la la la la.
-David Lowery

Having a friend who will keep a secret for you is worthless compared to a friend who won't keep a secret from you.

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#191729 - 11/17/07 05:20 PM Re: A good memory *DELETED* [Re: BJK]
sabata Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/08/06
Posts: 1948
Post deleted by sabata


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#191734 - 11/17/07 05:59 PM Re: A good memory [Re: sabata]
RICK57 Offline
Member

Registered: 12/31/03
Posts: 1611
Loc: ENGLAND
I really appreciate this post. It reminds me of one day when I took my niece to nursery school. She was about 3 and a half years old at the time.

I thought it would be a simple matter of walking her there, then waving at her as she went in. *This was about 22 years ago!

We walked there, and got just inside the gate. She just suddenly gripped my hand, pulled my head down and kissed me. She then ran off happy as anything. I just stood there feeling like I was going to fall to pieces.

It's a pleasant memory, but still makes my eyes water!

Best wishes ..Rik

_________________________
*Never look down on anybody unless you're helping them up.
*I was seeking a way of expressing my anger - I found hope!
*There are many battles before the war is won! It can be won!

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#191765 - 11/18/07 12:48 AM Re: A good memory [Re: RICK57]
Bewlayb1 Offline
Guest

Registered: 08/03/07
Posts: 241
Loc: NYC
Reading your memory, I was touched. It evoked mixed emotions. My abuser held my hand, smiled at me, made me trust him. I'm always uncomfortable around children. I can't help thinking how vulnerable they are. I worried about what kind of father I would be if I ever became one. I couldn't picture myself hugging a child.

But last year, my four-year-old neice and nephew, fraternal twins, visited for Christmas. My sister lives across the country, and I only saw them once before, when they were two. At first, I was shy around them. By the end of their visit, I adored them. I loved playing games with them, making them laugh and contemplating their personalities.

The sexual abuse I suffered didn't wreck that. A smile and holding a child's hand can be a wonderful thing.


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