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#19136 - 11/24/05 02:52 PM re this place is a hinderence
shadowkid Offline
WARNING from ModTeam, September 2013: user "Shadowkid" was exposed as a hoaxer. His entire online persona and stories of sexual abuse were fiction. We encourage you not to become emotionally concerned by anything you see in any of his posts. Thank you
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/18/05
Posts: 2437
being new i may not have the right to respond to this post but it made me think about how many different stages of getting better there are .wouldn't it be great to get to a place where we don't need places like this? the post spoke about seeing weakness ,guess he has been reading my posts ,if hating yourself and what your life has become is weak ,then i am ,if never having had sex with a girl is weak then i am ,if needing someone ,anyone is weak then i am ,if being scared of your perp then i am ,but for every sign of weakness i see signs of great strength ,is it weak to share your innermost fears hopes and doubts without regard for your own feelings in order to help someone else ?to me true strength is being like the moderaters or people who run this site ,weak would be saying yes i was abused and yes i suffered ,so i am going to heal myself and not put myself through the emotions and pain that i feel by continuing to read and try to help others ,weak would be saying i am going to worry about me and to hell with everybody else . although my posts show weakness it took great strength to put them out here . it takes a special person to say ok i am hurting but i can use my pain and experience to help someone else .one of my goals is to someday come here and be able to help someone else ,i see weakness within myself but not here on this site i think if i ever get to a point where i can ,i would be obligated to stay here and give whatever help i could ,if i feel i am healing shouldn't i stay not for the help i can get but for the help i could give? also it scares me to think that a therapist would think there is weakness here ,maybe he is afraid places like this will put him out of a job.i guess if your strong the cries for help could seem weak ,but it takes as much courage to ask for help as it does to fight on alone . in the end i don't think it is about being strong as an adult surviver it is about the superhuman strength we showed as children caught up in a nightmare with no escape ,strength we never knew we had ,the fact that we are still here proves that at one time we were strong ,stronger than the than the abuse or the abusers .i hope with the help of this place to be that strong again someday,without it i don't stand a chance.

_________________________
its not hard to fall
when you float like a cannonball - damien rice

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#19137 - 11/24/05 03:02 PM Re: re this place is a hinderence
Bobby Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/01/04
Posts: 1287
Loc: Arizona
Amen, SK Now read your post as though it were written by someone else. See any signs of weakness there? I don't. Just strength, SK, and lots of it. Lots of it.

Bobby

_________________________
I'm healing now, and I wasn't sure I would.




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#19138 - 11/24/05 04:16 PM Re: re this place is a hinderence
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Shadow,

Bobby beat me to this one and - as usual - absolutely nailed it! All I will say is ditto ditto DITTO.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#19139 - 11/24/05 08:35 PM Re: re this place is a hinderence
Mike Church Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 01/23/03
Posts: 3439
Loc: Toronto, Canada
Nothing more to add. I agree completely

_________________________
Mikey

IT REALLY IS OK TO STUMBLE. NONE OF US ARE PERFECT.

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#19140 - 11/24/05 11:02 PM Re: re this place is a hinderence
Andrew Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/25/03
Posts: 1192
You may be new, but spoken like a veteran on their way to healing. Peace, Andrew

_________________________
there is no courage without anxiety

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#19141 - 11/24/05 11:22 PM Re: re this place is a hinderence
Lloydy Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 04/17/02
Posts: 7071
Loc: England Shropshire
Shadow

Quote:
but for every sign of weakness i see signs of great strength
That's a sign of healing if ever I saw one!

Before I got help and therapy I saw myself as weak, but as I healed I began to see small glimmers of strength.
I saw that as a boy being abused I actually did show strength, I kept going, I lived my life in the best way I knew how. That was strong stuff, but I didn't recognise it. I do now.

One day the strengths will stand out more than any perceived weakness. It's confusing because we're not used to it, it's all new to us, but we like what we see and go with it. Maybe 'your day' has come? Reading your post I think it has.

Dave

_________________________
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.
Henry David Thoreau

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#19142 - 11/25/05 03:42 AM Re: re this place is a hinderence
shadowkid Offline
WARNING from ModTeam, September 2013: user "Shadowkid" was exposed as a hoaxer. His entire online persona and stories of sexual abuse were fiction. We encourage you not to become emotionally concerned by anything you see in any of his posts. Thank you
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/18/05
Posts: 2437
i agree but i was refering to the strength i have seen from those on the site ,right now i feel like the cowardly lion still looking for my courage ,although i have no problem seeing the courage i had as a kid ,just don't know what happened to it.i wonder if you guys remember how it felt the first time someone listened to you and offered help ,you are all doing that for me ,thanks so much .

_________________________
its not hard to fall
when you float like a cannonball - damien rice

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#19143 - 11/25/05 08:27 PM Re: re this place is a hinderence
Mike Church Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 01/23/03
Posts: 3439
Loc: Toronto, Canada
SK it scared the daylights out of me the first time I told anyone. I felt so much guilt shame and pain I could hardly bear it. I knew that they would consider me a freak and damaged goods. A funny thing happened though. What I really saw in that person was compassion and that person extended a helping hand to me the Freak. I am so damned glad I did it. I knew that if I did not do it living with the pain would one day kill me. I dont mean suicide. I mean that my life style of acting out would likely kill me. If you read my story you will understand. It would also drive my wife and daughter away. It was not till much later that I found MS. And I truly believe that this site has been so very very good for me. Sure there are fights and misunderstandings but hey even the best of brothers do that. Thing is we all want the same thing.

You say you feel like the cowardly lion. What I see is a man who is determined to work through the stench of SA. You have told us your story and you are interacting with us. To my mind that does not portray a cowardly lion but more like a wounded lion looking for the way with the help of others. And that my brother shows a strength of character that is huge.

_________________________
Mikey

IT REALLY IS OK TO STUMBLE. NONE OF US ARE PERFECT.

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#19144 - 11/25/05 10:22 PM Re: re this place is a hinderence
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Shadow,

Just keep the courage you have shown already; that and patience will get you through.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

Top
#19145 - 11/25/05 11:18 PM Re: re this place is a hinderence
Derdlecar Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/08/05
Posts: 1314
Loc: Ogden Utah, USA
Shadow,

I see absolutely no weakness in any of your posrts. One cannot equate strength with having no needs. Admitiing needs equals strength.

Have you been injured? yes
Does injury mean you are weak? NO
Do you know where to come to gain more strength? Yes, you are here aren't here.

Admiting one's weaknesses is the greatest sign of strenght I know of, because then and only then can one get the weaknesses fixed and gain even more strength.

Hang in ther my friend

Darrel

_________________________
If a man would get his life on track, he must first go back to the place where it was derailed.

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