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#191203 - 11/12/07 07:38 PM I've got to voice this.
knifael Offline
New Here

Registered: 10/28/07
Posts: 11
Thank you all for being here.

I've disclosed a little of my story, and everyone here has been amazing. Here i feel like my voice will not fall on deaf ears, even those that can understand.

I disclosed childhood abuse to my parents. They are asking me what they should do regarding my aunt (abuser). They want to spare my grandmother the hurt of knowing this abuse occured. I'm sure the thought didn't occur to them that the reason i have hated them wasn't teen angst nearly as much as the inability to spare me the hurt of the abuse... I do not blame them, and feel like we can now have a relationship for the first time in my life. They've even begun financially supporting me as I'm drinking, eating pills and laying in bed far too much to hold a job.(*Enabling) But this is the only sort of support they've ever really provided me.

My parish (Eastern Orthodox) is a very tight community, with two non-profits attached one providing emergency food and financial assistance the other mostly treating substance abuse. My priest is a social worker resettling refugees in addition to his many roles as a priest. He is also experienced and from what i understand talented in treating survivors of this type of abuse including EMDR, which is what i want to use.

Unfortunately for me, his many roles and neverending work have made him unavailable to me, (much like my father always was so it's easy to project that history onto my priest.)

And the therapist that the nun (who has saved my heart and my life many times) and my priest wanted me to see walked out on my first session to answer a knock at the door and have a chat with them. Now, I am highly ignorant of most methods of therapists and social workers, but does it ring odd, or highly disrespectful for a therapist to exploit and disregard trust while i'm confiding this abuse that is paralyzing to me?

My aunt just called my family for the first time since i told them this happened. My father answered the phone telling her to not call there is no relations between them.

She denied it.

Someone help me. just say something that i can hold on to.

i am alone.


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#191206 - 11/12/07 07:49 PM Re: I've got to voice this. [Re: knifael]
Gerald2007 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/03/07
Posts: 157
Loc: Southeastern US
Knifael,
I am sorry you are having a rough time. I applaud your courage in disclosing the abuse to your parents.

I am unclear about the incident with the therapist. Did he discuss your situation with other and violate the confidential nature of your therapy?

Is the nun you mention someone you can talk to?

It does sound that your parents are dong more than just providing financial support. Breaking relations with your aunt must have been hard for them.

Keep posting. When you post here, you are not alone.

Gerald

_________________________
Alumnus: Weekend of Recovery - Dahlonega, May 2008 and May 2009
We are bound together by the pain of the past and our hopes for the future.

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#191207 - 11/12/07 08:00 PM Re: I've got to voice this. [Re: Gerald2007]
knifael Offline
New Here

Registered: 10/28/07
Posts: 11

I know that my parents are helping me, it's just hard when there's nothing they can say or do right now. I've also been blowing up and feeling hateful and defensive at everyone.

The therapist issue was probably vague. A woman (who later tried to kick me out of my church because i looked suspicious) knocked on the door when i was telling the therapist very personal things, that took a lot for me to trust a stranger with. The therapist answered the door which i can understand. But then she walked out of the room to go have a conversation with the other woman who wanted to leave early. If this is common practice then i should probably just know about it. But my reaction internally was an immediate wall going up and the feeling that i could as easily be telling my story to an inanimate object for healing.


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#191209 - 11/12/07 08:05 PM Re: I've got to voice this. [Re: knifael]
Gerald2007 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/03/07
Posts: 157
Loc: Southeastern US
Knifael,

I don't think what your therapist did is something most therapist would do.

What did your T say when he walked back into the room?

Gerald

_________________________
Alumnus: Weekend of Recovery - Dahlonega, May 2008 and May 2009
We are bound together by the pain of the past and our hopes for the future.

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#191220 - 11/12/07 09:11 PM Re: I've got to voice this. [Re: Gerald2007]
knifael Offline
New Here

Registered: 10/28/07
Posts: 11
she* said something to the effect of, "ok what were you saying?"

she's a graduate student, probably not very experienced.

My priest called and told me he could start seeing me weekly after i posted my outburst on here. Still skeptical, but that's probably another issue.

He's a rugged old man who along with his wife have spent their adult lives leading a spiritual community, trying to reconcile the racial divisions in our community, and helping treat the abused, those with substance abuse, and generally downtrodden.

Hoping to get help,

Michael


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#191222 - 11/12/07 09:13 PM Re: I've got to voice this. [Re: Gerald2007]
dgoods Offline
Guest

Registered: 10/15/07
Posts: 622
Loc: Richmond area
1st let me say it's good you realize the drinking/pill-popping isn't helping to do anything but delaying the inevitable (at least i'm picking that up from your post), maybe you're not ready to stop but at least consider it as something you do have some control over, i'm sure feeling guilty over being a financial drain on your parents doesn't help you feel motivated.
It could have been that a patient of the other therapist was at risk for harm to self or others, and she was leaving to deal w/ that, that's happened to me before, that wouldn't be a conversation that could be left for later or had in your T's office. It's easy for us to think "screwed again", but we're not always right. Your T could just be an unthinking idiot, but at least check it out 1st before deciding to do anything.

_________________________
Give sorrow words: the grief that does not speak
Whispers the o'er-fraught heart and bids it break.

-William Shakespeare, Macbeth, Act IV, Sc. III

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#191223 - 11/12/07 09:35 PM Re: I've got to voice this. [Re: dgoods]
knifael Offline
New Here

Registered: 10/28/07
Posts: 11
It doesn't matter.

I'm probably taking things out on her. Not her fault.

I do appreciate you responding.



Edited by knifael (11/12/07 09:36 PM)

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