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#190160 - 11/06/07 09:47 AM going backwards.
Nyjah Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/14/07
Posts: 610
been scared to post here. especially about weight. everything still bothers me and makes me feel unsafe. but i dunno what else to do.

my weights gone down. has been for a while. gonna be back in the hosp. friday after school im going back in.


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#190169 - 11/06/07 10:31 AM Re: going backwards. [Re: Nyjah]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Nyjah,

Please don't be afraid to post about anything here, especially something as important as your weight and eating problems. These are not your fault. Talk about these things and that is the message you will hear.

I know you don't like the hospital, but let them help you and you will soon be back with your friends and house bro. Okay?

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#190178 - 11/06/07 11:19 AM Re: going backwards. [Re: roadrunner]
BJK Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/02/07
Posts: 1526
Nyjah,

I've posted about some pretty embarassing stuff here, and I've posted about some extremely upsetting things as well. Mostly, they've been things I've been downright insecure about. Yeah, safety is an issue.

I've read some of the posts in the past that you've made regarding your weight/eating problems. You've never said, though, whether they are the result of health issues (being ill), an eating disorder (addiction), or simply depression (which has a very wide array of side effects). I can assure you that none of these items is anything to be ashamed of.

I've bared my soul on this site, and I feel better for each part that I've disclosed. I've had serious issues with addiction and depression in my past, and I can relate to the issues regarding feeling safe about talking about it. If you don't feel safe, I understand. But just remember...when you keep things inside, they have a tendancy to eat away at you.

Most importantly, though, I hope things turn out well in your hospital visit. Keep us posted, okay?

Bryan

_________________________
Revenge is nothing more than another way of perpetuating abuse.

What the world needs now
Is some new words of wisdom
Like la la la la la la la la la.
-David Lowery

Having a friend who will keep a secret for you is worthless compared to a friend who won't keep a secret from you.

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#190272 - 11/06/07 10:48 PM Re: going backwards. [Re: BJK]
Nyjah Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/14/07
Posts: 610
i have bulimia and anorexia.


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#190283 - 11/07/07 12:12 AM Re: going backwards. [Re: Nyjah]
BJK Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/02/07
Posts: 1526
Well, Nyjah, I think it's a huge step to be able to come out and say it in public like this. I don't know if you've done that before.

What I understand about eating disorders is that they are a form of addiction. They are a very powerful form of addiction, and they are extremely difficult to break free of.

I've been through a lot of addictions, and I remember when the realization first began to sink in. Hey, I have a problem. I didn't want to be one of "those guys". I was afraid of people not accepting me anymore. I was afraid of stereotypes. I was raised to think that people who "let" addictions control them were nothing but low lifes and delinquents.

And here I am, 32 years old. I typed the above paragraph, and I'm having trouble holding tears back. I can only imagine that people have made you think the same things about eating disorders.

Yes, there are people out there who can make you feel quite ashamed of these issues with inappropriate words. I don't think there are any of those people here, and I'm quite sure if one pops up, the moderators will dispose of them in quick order. Otherwise, when you're here, the only thing you really have to be afraid of when it comes to these problems is what they can do to your health.

I've found over time that it has been easier and easier to say out loud that I have these problems. I've been so afraid for so long because saying them out loud makes it more and more true. Well, here it is for the world to see yet again, and it's still difficult to type. I'm a recovering gambling addice. I'm a recovering pot addict. I'm a recovring alcoholic. And I'm a recovering meth addict.

It's not easy, Nyjah. It's going to take a lot of strength and a lot of courage to beat this stuff. Just remember, though, that when the urge becomes too powerful, there is usually a reason behind it. It is usually some pain that needs to be addressed. I have to say, though, that you're damn brave to have made it this far.

(sorry...I rambled)

Bryan



Edited by BJK (11/07/07 12:12 AM)
_________________________
Revenge is nothing more than another way of perpetuating abuse.

What the world needs now
Is some new words of wisdom
Like la la la la la la la la la.
-David Lowery

Having a friend who will keep a secret for you is worthless compared to a friend who won't keep a secret from you.

Top
#190292 - 11/07/07 03:22 AM Re: going backwards. [Re: BJK]
Muldoon Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/30/02
Posts: 1428
Loc: St Paul MN
Nyjah glad that you are able to come here again and share. Talking about it is a major step forward.


Tom

_________________________
Teach the Children to Never Hide in the Silence

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#190301 - 11/07/07 06:00 AM Re: going backwards. [Re: Muldoon]
dgoods Offline
Guest

Registered: 10/15/07
Posts: 622
Loc: Richmond area
Don't feel too weird, maybe posting publicly might help others here admit to having eating disorders too. I could be wrong, but i've had friends w/ eating disorders (RIP Charlotte) and although the common idea is that SA survivors will make themselves obese in order not to be attractive to their abuser, it still is about anger turned inward, and trying to find undisputed control over the body somehow. In my case it was getting wasted more than anything else, but i'm also looking at my self-neglect issues too. I hope you know that more men are "coming out" about their struggles w/ eating disorders and/or body image issues- there are men who, no matter how muscularly developed they are, still see a puny weakling in the mirror, no matter what others say. Thanks for posting!

_________________________
Give sorrow words: the grief that does not speak
Whispers the o'er-fraught heart and bids it break.

-William Shakespeare, Macbeth, Act IV, Sc. III

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#190899 - 11/11/07 03:04 AM Re: going backwards. [Re: Nyjah]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Nyjah,

Originally Posted By: Nyjah
i have bulimia and anorexia.


Five pretty powerful and brave words. Have you noticed how no one blames or judges you for any of this? ;\)

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

Top


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