there is a lot of positive energy on this site. guys coming together. sharing. growing. lately i have felt the limitations of it tho. i feel like i dont fit in the cookie cutter mold of "survivor." i often have a view point that isn't nessisarily the norm and because of that, i feel like i always get shit for it. i know i am a smart guy. im a rational thinker and form my own opinions and dont just accept everyone else's. this is something i have always prided myself in. here, it seems a lot of guys operate with "survivor glasses" and fail to see the big picture. there is a whole world outside the rhelm of abuse. i am lucky enough to see it. when i express thoughts and opinions of my own, please dont shit on them. you don't have to agree. hell, i dont agree with half of your points of view but i don't think i make you all feel like less of a survivor because i don't i don't agree. if i have, i appologise because i didn't realize it. so please use the same respect on me. we have a lot to learn from eachother. don't lash out at me because i might not have the same view as you. if everyone thought the same way, nothing would ever get accomplished.

I agree Jarrad. There's no cookie-cutter survivor. You should always speak your mind. Don't ever lose that. It's a good thing!

I will never shit on your opinions!

-Darren

Very well put Jarrad. Just because someone doesnt fit what we think a survivor should feel does not make that person any less of a survivor. Each and everyone of us are in different places in our recovery and take a different path to heal. The common ground we have is the path that each of us are on.

James

Good point, Jarrad. Not only would nothing get accomplished if everyone was the same, it would be damn boring to boot! I think your point are thought provoking and challenging. I do think, though, that you are very stronly opinionated and upfront, and some of the men here are triggered by that - so you may be feeling "shit" upon when it is more of another's survivor's way of saying that what you are suggesing is very difficult for them. Remember, a lot of us are learning to deal with strong emotions, and anger is a biggy - but you are right, it often feels like an attach. If I have done that, I sincerely apologize, because I look forward to interacting with you here.

Dan

hey, the site says "overcoming sexual victimization of boys and men"- other than the usual guidelines for safety and privacy, there aren't any "club rules" posted. Were this somplace where everyone seemed to be glassy-eyed, slack-jawed devotees of a particular leader, i wouldn't even have signed up, it's the honesty here that keeps me participating. If i felt i couldn't be honest, why would i bother? I'm not interested in people's feedback on some invented persona, i'm interested in seeing myself through as many different eyes as possible, in a place where i won't get treated like dirt. I too pride myself on being capable of independent rational thought, i try to think before i type, it doesn't always work, but i'm through being anyone's fool, naive or ignorant though i may be at times. i always get something out of chatting w/ you or reading your posts, Jarrad- you're an excellent antidote to groupthink.

well i try not to shit on anyone-here---------steve

Jarrad
I think we have only spoken a couple of times in chat, but i read all your posts. I dont always agree with everything you say, but you speak honestly and you have changed the way i think and see some things. For the better i might add.
Dont apologise for speaking how you see it, and as you say we can and do learn things from each other. I look forward to reading more of your posts.

thats what i like about you jarrod is that you say what you feel

thanks guys. i didnt mean for this to turn into "jarrad is awesome" thread. haha. but i appreciate it.

I too enjoy your posts Jarrad. You say it like you feel it and that is ok w/me. We are all in a different point in our healing and therefore probably all have different emotions and feelings. It is always interesting what you post. Keep it up and say what you feel you have to say.

Jarrad;

I’m glad that this forum has helped you as it has many others. I would honestly have to say though that I personally do hold back what I am really thinking at times just simply to not offend one of my fellow survivors. I came to this forum to meet fellow survivors and engage in mutually beneficial discussion.

If this truly is what people are calling it a “speaking how you see it” type of forum. Then I’m fine with that, but everyone must be forewarned that my opinions, as well as others, could offend fellow survivors of CSA or other victims of sexual assault.

Given that, I am intrigued with the thought of saying “exactly” what I think with regards to my experiences as a survivor of child sexual abuse.

Looking forward to future discussion.

Scotia

I agree with all these guys, I would never miss a Jarrad post. And you've given me a completely different perspective of many of my own posts, priceless.

Mike

Jarred,

For something completely different... I just farted.

Oh and keep speaking your mind. Speaking out your ass stinks!

~Brian

haha frost. at least you admit it. i'm more of a lady... or a cat.. i fart and walk away quickly.

Jarrad,

You are a great guy and I enjoy hanging out with you in the chat room. I would never want to disrepect you in any way. I request that you let me know if you ever feel like I disrespect your comments. I agree that sometimes point of views can become very narrow and through the lense of "abuse." I am sure I am guilty of that times. Please call me on it.

Peace

gdilbeck
River

Point of view will be different between different people here. I know that my point of view is different on some issues then both my roommates even. The most importent issue I think is respect for a person's views here, even if they are different of our own. Everyone could use the reminder of that sometime.

Andrei