hi again trish -
i'm telling you, the world looks a lot brighter to me knowing folks like you are in it
if you aren't sure lunch is such a good idea; and maybe not after work either - then maybe keep it on the up and up at a prof level; don't even make it all that personal - how about some time when you are on your way home and she's still there? walk up to her, ask if she has a minute - tell her about this site and the forum and a little (and i mean little, ok? ha ha) plug about how many women on here have to deal with male survivors - hand her a little yellow sticky with the website of the forum on it - not just the site, but make sure the board part of the site also - and let her know if she'd like to talk sometime, you are listening.
then hand her the piece of paper, let her think about what you said and wish her a good night. then she can think about it at her own pace, etc. maybe even doing it on a friday might be a good time - ?
i'm kinda in a similar situation - someone i've started to value as a good friend - she's showing all the signs of being a survivor herself - in fact, i'm pretty damn sure but don't want to go there until i know - and let her know i'm there if she needs anything - wow it's so hard.
just remember the stigma against talking about csa is part of the problem - in order to help things get better overall, it takes grassroots efforts, just as you're doing, to help break down those barriers. please don't give up - just be patient, i'm sure a way will open for you soon -
all the best,