Hi EJ, I am sorry that your brother did not get therapy, for what happened to him. Question, were you able to get therapy for what happened to you? In both you and your brothers cases, boundaries were crossed that should not have been crossed. Your brother was sexual abused by this older neighbor, who he likely looked up to, probably liked, and hoped would be his friend. He was betrayed. The same thing happened to you. This does not mean that you will become a perpetrator, it did not cause your brother to become a perpetrator. But what it did do is cause a great deal of confusion in his head. I am sure the same is true for you. For some people the boundaries become weakened and blurred.
I have a old friend, used to be my best friend in high school. He molested a young boy, about 13 years old in 1995. He turned himself in, plead guilty, and got ten years probation's, no jail time. ( note, my friend did all this through a lawyer) Part of his probation was group therapy, which he was forced to attend. He did not feel that was helping him, so he went to the VA and got one on one counseling. He is now off probation but still goes to the VA for counseling. I did not learn of this until 2001, when I moved back to Texas. I had just got up the nerve to tell my friend about me being raped in 1968, and two weeks later I found out that he was a sex offender. For the next three years I avoided my friend.
But I got to thinking about it, if he had no one to talk to, would he not be more likely to do it again? So I reintroduced myself to him. I see him on occasion, to see how he is doing. The friendship will never be the same. But I can talk to him.
In my own case, I came very close to doing the same thing to a young girl. you can read about it. I have a link in my signature, to a page of links to my important messages. Just take your time reading.
Last but not least, I wanted you to know about, Pandora's Aquarium, http://pandys.org/forums/index.php?act=idx
Pandora's Aquarium is another large web site, but they have about 3,000 ladies there. So if you want to talk about what happened to you, and some of the fallout from it, you will find it to be a place where you can talk about you.
Wishing you well,