dh don't want to work no more. he hates job. he wants me to find something that payss enought so that he can stay home & not do anything he does not want to do. we have teh boys to think about & he acts lik i am his mom 2. he want 2 put all his problemws as if it is my falt. i get so tired that so much on my back. i guess i needed smeplace to say that there is not much left of me that it gets old to always be the giver in this. it is not fare. i did not abuse him or would i ever. i just wish he would start trying to work on geting better. it is like he does not want 2 heal or have better life.

k

Hello, I have been through the same thing, and well still am going through the same things. I feel your frustration! My husband told me of his abuse 8 years ago. And well he just started seeing a theripist 2 1/2 months ago. I have been to hell and back...but you need to understand...they don't know how to deal with it. They did not ask to be abused...and they don't ask to feel and act the way they do. Anger...yelling...controlling.....depressed.....
What you don't know is they are scared....lonely.....don't trust anyone with their feelings or anything.......my husband has not had a good job since we been together...still does not. It is in his time...you can't get frustrated with him,,,,this will push him farther away from you, and away from dealing with it. Trust me he feels that he could never have a better life, he feels worthless and hopeless.....My husband tells me this....have you seen a theripist at all. I started seeing the same one as my husband. Even though your husband is not seeing one,, it can help you very much during this time. so many marriages end because of things like this. It is not easy,,, I keep fighting it. I love my husband and want to see him happy for once. I know it will take time, but I am willing to wait and help as much as I can. I hope this helps. you are doing the right thing by being here "for yourself" and your husband....If you make it through this together...he will thank...you...and you will mean so much to him. things will get better...I have witnessed it.

I feel as if I am at the end of my ropes alot...and I am tired. I have been getting alot of informaton from this site...it has been very helpful in helping me gain more strengh to get through this.