Folks try to normalize what's not normal...
It's like trying to squeeze through to a different reality. One of the first things I learned here is that no matter how different our experiences, our healing is so similar. I'm also amazed that somewhere on this board is someone who has been through horrors very much like mine.
It feels like we're alone, but these men here have been through the worst that life can throw. I've hurt, I've lost so much, but like you said, the reason I've lost so much is that I stood up and said, "That's not normal." They want us to believe that if we'll just sit back down and play along, everyone will be happy. They want me to come back, join in the fiction, and say I like it. If I did that, I wouldn't lose... what? My family? They were never a family. My friends? Friends who require me to be something I'm not are not friends.
So I think we don't really lose, although their "normal" tells us we do. I think we gain. And it's the squeezing between their world and Truth that hurts so deeply.
Let us be here for you. There is a real life out there.