Please don't feel badly. Hell, life just sucks sometimes, you know? I truly love and feel for my wife in all of this, but her actions at times have not provided me with a warm fuzzy feeling of security and desire to rush in and let it all out to her. There are times when she has been a very unsafe person.
On the flip side of that I too have been the same for her. It's just a sucky messed up world we live in and negotiating the the path to recovery as a couple can be problematic and best and devastating at worst. The way we chose to approach the problem is through individual therapy for each of ua and couples therapy as well, otherwise we probably would not have survived as a couple.
To answer your question, I don't think anyone was accusing you of "turning it back" on him, but you did ask the question about asking him if he's willing to share what happened. You got some answers that I don't believe were intended to be critical at all, but were simply meant to try to help you avoid the pitfalls some of our wives, partners, etc. fell into.
I'd really recommend couples therapy as well as individual therapy for each of you. That is the only way the wife and I have been able to keep it together. Thankfully we're on the downhill slope now and it is feeling great.
Lots of love,
“Life’s journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting ‘Holy ____…! What a ride!’” ~Hunter S. Thompson