Newest Members
BusterJones, Desperateforhelp, aniceguy, Green_Lantern, Safe11ride
12121 Registered Users
Today's Birthdays
betterdays (29), ChevyMan76 (46), cuda (48), swartzhund (42), wdf9 (70)
Who's Online
8 registered (Jwmcd2, atari_kid86, jd123, 5 invisible), 56 Guests and 2 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
12121 Members
73 Forums
62520 Topics
438133 Posts

Max Online: 418 @ 07/02/12 07:29 AM
Twitter
Page 1 of 2 1 2 >
Topic Options
#189814 - 11/03/07 01:59 PM honest
Jarrad Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/27/06
Posts: 1071
Loc: arizona
are you guys honest with yourself?


Top
#189816 - 11/03/07 02:06 PM Re: honest [Re: Jarrad]
EGL Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 06/19/04
Posts: 7819
Rarely.

_________________________
Eddie

Top
#189817 - 11/03/07 02:17 PM Re: honest [Re: EGL]
Paul1959 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/17/06
Posts: 525
Loc: NYC
That is all part of the process for me. The me I really am...and the me I want to be. Like if I pretend long enough, I might become the me I pretend to be? Even to myself. Denial is such a good friend.
Paul


Top
#189818 - 11/03/07 02:24 PM Re: honest [Re: Paul1959]
Hauser Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/12/05
Posts: 2962
Loc: United States
I don't even know "who" I am.


Top
#189819 - 11/03/07 02:32 PM Re: honest [Re: Hauser]
trusty Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/14/07
Posts: 167
Loc: Indiana, USA
Jarrad,
I really think if I could be honest with myself, I'd have to find some way to start my life over...get amnesia or something. I'm in too deep to allow myself total honesty...meaning there are too many other people involved. Sucks, doesn't it?
Russ

_________________________
"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Top
#189821 - 11/03/07 02:44 PM Re: honest [Re: trusty]
mogigo Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/24/07
Posts: 1331
Loc: Colorado
I'm definately honest with myself. The problem is when I'm honest it's based on being perfect. I'm honestly not perfect so the self esteem takes a nose dive.

Wish I could lie and say I'm just fine the way I am.

Mike

_________________________
Thriving

Top
#189822 - 11/03/07 02:49 PM Re: honest [Re: mogigo]
BJK Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/02/07
Posts: 1526
What a powerful question, Jarrad. It's a good one, too.

Am I honest with myself.

I think I am, but facing the truth has been the most difficult part of this entire ordeal.

But what if I'm not being honest with myself? What if I'm still living in a world of delusions?

I don't want to face that possibility.... Not after all of the pain it took me to get here.

Bryan



Edited by BJK (11/03/07 02:50 PM)
_________________________
Revenge is nothing more than another way of perpetuating abuse.

What the world needs now
Is some new words of wisdom
Like la la la la la la la la la.
-David Lowery

Having a friend who will keep a secret for you is worthless compared to a friend who won't keep a secret from you.

Top
#189825 - 11/03/07 03:04 PM Re: honest [Re: mogigo]
dgoods Offline
Guest

Registered: 10/15/07
Posts: 622
Loc: Richmond area
i try really hard to be as much as possible, basically if i start being self-deceptive i'll end up drinking myself into oblivion, or worse.That's probably the healthy fear i hold on to. I try to encourage other people to help keep me honest...if any of you guys think i'm blowing smoke up my own a--, just quote the post, add "gray donut" to the reply, you can "gray donut" my chat too; a silly phrase maybe, but it's no joke for the long-term consequences for me. At least w/ posting here, all anyone has to do is check on older posts and compare them to the latest ones, see if there's a difference, more honest, less honest, what have you- you might surpise yourself (in a good way too) w/ noticing the differences between when you first started posting, to where you're at now. I'm still wet behind the ears around here, but after many months, i'm sure i'll get curious what i did post early on...

_________________________
Give sorrow words: the grief that does not speak
Whispers the o'er-fraught heart and bids it break.

-William Shakespeare, Macbeth, Act IV, Sc. III

Top
#189850 - 11/03/07 06:02 PM Re: honest [Re: Jarrad]
thecoopstah Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/19/04
Posts: 589
Loc: massachusetts
I can tell you with a certainty i am very honest with myself otherwise i'm only kidding myself afterall if "one" can't be true to themselves you damn sure can't be honest with others.

Coop

PS: is honesty a struggle for you....if it,it's ok....you'll get through it and deal with the pain when you're ready.

_________________________
" You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have "

Top
#189853 - 11/03/07 06:28 PM Re: honest [Re: thecoopstah]
WalkingSouth Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 16263
a hell of a lot more often than I used to be but it can still be a struggle...

_________________________
“Life’s journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting ‘Holy ____…! What a ride!’” ~Hunter S. Thompson

Top
#189858 - 11/03/07 08:03 PM Re: honest [Re: WalkingSouth]
dwchan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/11/05
Posts: 11
Loc: Vancouver, BC
I've been brought to a place where I have been very truthful about myself lately. And I rejoice because the truth is setting me free. I struggled over opening up my struggles about male fantasies, something which I have not been honest with myself for the almost the past twenty years. Even though I don't consider myself to be gay and I have almost never acted upon those urges, but it's still a big struggle within. I kept thinking that if I don't believe it to be true, then it won't be true. But the truth of the matter is, the struggles never went away and it became something that I couldn't shake off. But recently, I was finally honest with myself for the first time and posted of my struggle with male fantasy here. After that, I had the courage to open to a very dear friend of mine... you have no idea how much that had set me free afterward! It's easier to be honest with yourself when you know that you are loved just as you are. I am so thankful that God loves me just as I am and He is dispensing His life and nature into me day by day that I may become the same as He is. And I am thankful that He has given me a few people in my life who love me that way, the Lord, my wife, my parents and my vital companion.

The truth shall set you free.

Danny

_________________________
"But in all these things we more than conquer through Him who loved us." Rom. 8:37

Top
#189859 - 11/03/07 08:27 PM Re: honest [Re: dwchan]
Jarrad Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/27/06
Posts: 1071
Loc: arizona
im honest when it comes to a lot of things but im realizing that for a lot of others im not. when it comees to abuse im not dishonest, i just think im blissfully ignorant.


Top
#189860 - 11/03/07 08:56 PM Re: honest [Re: Jarrad]
EGL Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 06/19/04
Posts: 7819
I'm honest with others much more so than with myself. For example, it's a lot easier to lie to myself and make myself think that the past doesn't bother me. Otherwise known as "denial". I see it as a way of coping.

_________________________
Eddie

Top
#189865 - 11/03/07 09:51 PM Re: honest [Re: EGL]
JerrySan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/04/06
Posts: 23
Loc: Clinton Indiana
no not at all


Top
#189876 - 11/04/07 02:00 AM Re: honest [Re: JerrySan]
conchshell Offline
New Here

Registered: 03/01/07
Posts: 12
Loc: Southern California
Lately I've been thinking of the personal honesty thing a different way. I sometimes imagine I am already where I want to be emotionally, even if I'm not there. I don't worry about trying to find out what my real feelings are. If I commit to the idea completely and act in a way that is consistent of how I would behave if I were in that mental state, my brain usually tries to connect the dots for me, albiet in a rather fragile nature. But if the end result is that for awhile I am happy, then what is the truth and what is the lie? imo change happens in both directions simultaneously anyway.



Edited by conchshell (11/04/07 02:11 AM)

Top
#189877 - 11/04/07 02:46 AM Re: honest [Re: WalkingSouth]
OKIE MIKE Online   content
Member

Registered: 02/13/04
Posts: 979
Loc: HULBERT OK
It is not posable to lie to your self . Because You would know

_________________________
MICHAEL

"I HAD NO SHOES THEN I SAW A MAN THAT HAD NO FEET"

"All I can do is be me, whoever that is"

Top
#189881 - 11/04/07 03:40 AM Re: honest [Re: OKIE MIKE]
Leosha Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/18/03
Posts: 3614
Loc: Right here
No, I don't think so. Most of the time I am to hard on myself and to down at myself, and the rest of the time I am 'not myself', so don't know what the hell I am doing.

Respectfully disagree with Okie Mike. It is completely possible to lie to yourself, and people do it all the time. What about all the drug addicts or alcoholics who do it because their wife is a b*tch? Oh yes, you are screwing yourself up, but it's all her fault. And most, if not all, of them truly believe it. That is only one example.

Leosha

_________________________
Avatar photo in memory of my younger brother Makar.

"Human salvation lies in the hands of the creatively maladjusted."~~~Martin Luther King Jr., 1963

Top
Page 1 of 2 1 2 >


Moderator:  ModTeam, TJ jeff 

I agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole discretion of MaleSurvivor.
I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor resources are AT-WILL, and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for any reason by MaleSurvivor.