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#189699 - 11/02/07 03:53 PM Appointment
Marinan Offline
Guest

Registered: 07/03/07
Posts: 329
I have an appointment scheduled at the 11th of December. First time for me to talk about such stuff to someone person to person other than a close friend.


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#189700 - 11/02/07 03:58 PM Re: Appointment [Re: Marinan]
MemoryVault Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/01/07
Posts: 693
Loc: NJ
Good for you! That's one of my New Years' resolutions...


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#189783 - 11/03/07 09:28 AM Re: Appointment [Re: MemoryVault]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Marinan and David,

I hope you'll talk about this. It's a huge step but a real freak out. I don't think I've ever seen a survivor here who wasn't scared to death as the first appointment approached. That's entirely normal, and with all the issues we face how could we react otherwise.

But the important thing is to keep the appointment and go. It's a risk worth taking and it will make all the difference.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#189784 - 11/03/07 10:39 AM Re: Appointment [Re: roadrunner]
Paul1959 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/17/06
Posts: 525
Loc: NYC
YEAH! It takes a lot of strength to make this first step. You are strong. Of course you are scared and nervous. But there is nothing to fear at all. My T could not have been kinder and more accepting, or comforting or encouraging. Mostly I sat there and sobbed. we went through a lot of kleenex - which he supplied - and afterwards it felt so good to have gotten this horrible secret out to someone other than a computer screen. You real healing has begun!
Paul


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#189791 - 11/03/07 11:28 AM Re: Appointment [Re: Paul1959]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
One thing to bear in mind as the day approaches is that the T will not just sit you down, get out a pen and note pad and begin firing embarrassing personal questions at you. A therapist is a pro and knows that unless there is trust nothing can be achieved, so some sessions will be about trust-building. My T in Germany never did get us around to the CSA itself; looking back I can see she knew I was too freaked out, too depressed, too ashamed, too horrified, whatever. And the T with whom I made the most progress waited about two months before asking me if in our next session we could begin to talk about the CSA itself - "what happened". And by then I was ready, so it was okay.

I hope others will join in here, but I can tell you that when I started therapy all the world felt like some kind of mad Jumanji-style wilderness. It seemed so unsafe and I was on red alert ALL the time; I would get home and feel like I wanted to collapse into tears, I was so wired. And yes, at first I dreaded going to my T appointment. But after a time I noticed that I felt safe again when I stepped into the Psychology Department. Then later on I noticed that when something happened I would think Oh, okay, I need to write that down so I can check with Gillian next time. When therapy ended I really felt like I was losing a precious resource.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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