.

Mark,

Thanks for giving this a try. I think you did really well, and I hope you can see the result. Staying on the outside does us even more harm than we would face if we try to trust again.

Much love,
Larry

yeah ... I see it ... I'm just not sure if I can do anything about it.

Guess that's why I'm in therapy

Mark,

That's it bro. Just KNOWING the direction of our goals is already a big step forward, even before we really get anywhere. A willingness to acknowledge there's a problem and face it is the tool we all have to have in hand.

As for using the tools, well, this business of "I'm just not sure if I can do anything about it" is where we all start from, I think. That's why it feels like such a risk, and as you say, that's also why we need a T.

Muich love,
Larry

Knowing is a big step forward? If you know and just sit on the knowledge, what good has it done?

But yes - this is why we need a T.

M

Mark,



Perhaps it's like a guy working on restoring an old car. He hopes it will run in the end, but for a long time he's doing work and still not able to start up that car and drive anywhere. He just has to trust in his own abilities and take the risk that in the end it will work out.

In Victims No Longer Mike Lew talks about this business of waiting for something to happen, and he has a great way to put it. He says something like this: "Just know that when you finally do it, that is the very first second you could have done it." That thought helped me a lot when I was feeling frustrated and impatient with myself.

Much love,
Larry

Hey, Mark --

Echoing Larry...your new awareness is already rewriting the program. Just challenging the wall has already begun to erode it.

It took a lot of things to build the wall (How much do you have to say or do or not do to a child to crush his natural openness and longing for connection?) It will take a lot to be able to break it down for good.

But it's eroding NOW. It's already happening. Maybe the scary thing isn't seeing the wall in all its strength, but knowing that it really won't be there forever.

Beautiful poem!

David

Good point! I hadn't thought about that - but it definitely has a ring of truth. I'll have to investigate that more.

Thanx, David!

M

Nice analogy, Larry. "He has to trust in his own abilities and take the risk..." - - That seems to sum up about where I'm at in this. I don't know which is harder though - trusting in my abilities or actually taking the risk... Probably trusting - cuz if I believed in my abilities, the risk probably wouldn't seem so great.

Thanx again!

M

Mark,



What if trust and risk are the front and back of the same coin:

trust (positive): I have skills; if I use them I can gain...
risk (negative): I feel afraid and uncertain. If I fail I will lose...

See where I'm going with this?

Much love,
Larry