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#189384 - 10/31/07 12:01 PM T appointment
SEVEN ARROWS Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/12/07
Posts: 1298
I had a T appointment today were we tried to deal with my anger.
It was a bit strained but it all went to shit when i split on him.

Not one of my good days, feel like shit.

sorry


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#189417 - 10/31/07 04:29 PM Re: T appointment [Re: SEVEN ARROWS]
dgoods Offline
Guest

Registered: 10/15/07
Posts: 622
Loc: Richmond area
sorry to hear it;
at least you didn't get arrested fot punching him or something- you can try again, maybe next time won't be so overwhelming.

_________________________
Give sorrow words: the grief that does not speak
Whispers the o'er-fraught heart and bids it break.

-William Shakespeare, Macbeth, Act IV, Sc. III

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#189419 - 10/31/07 04:37 PM Re: T appointment [Re: dgoods]
SEVEN ARROWS Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/12/07
Posts: 1298
i went to see him and he said ok lets talk about your anger, i just sat there and then he started to talk and as he did i started to feel very uneasy then i became mad, not at him but at everything. Then i lost some time, shit i hate it when this happens. I just want to crawl away and hide.....sorry


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#189424 - 10/31/07 05:00 PM Re: T appointment [Re: SEVEN ARROWS]
SEVEN ARROWS Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/12/07
Posts: 1298
sorry

but i feel like shit at the moment, im jumping at every noise and feeling agitated.

sorry


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#189445 - 10/31/07 11:06 PM Re: T appointment [Re: SEVEN ARROWS]
dgoods Offline
Guest

Registered: 10/15/07
Posts: 622
Loc: Richmond area
's OK, every time a car door slams i jump a mile.. i've never lost time but i know "seeing red" isn't just an expression, my temper's screwed me over before, i've had weeks where i was either a raging psycho or a terrified mouse, but no in-between...

_________________________
Give sorrow words: the grief that does not speak
Whispers the o'er-fraught heart and bids it break.

-William Shakespeare, Macbeth, Act IV, Sc. III

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#189468 - 11/01/07 08:00 AM Re: T appointment [Re: dgoods]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Seven Arrows,

Please don't tear yourself up for losing time with your T. He has seen it all, my friend, and he understands. Try to bear in mind that this was a survival strategy used by an innocent boy with NO real resources to face what was happening to him. The hyper-vigilance and agitation are also part of your reaction to what happened and they make all the sense in the world.

All this will get better as you heal, but in the meantime the important thing is that you survived. So many boys don't.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#189471 - 11/01/07 08:12 AM Re: T appointment [Re: roadrunner]
dgoods Offline
Guest

Registered: 10/15/07
Posts: 622
Loc: Richmond area
good point larry, i almost didn't either- if i hadn't made so much noise convulsing, i would've been 14 forever...

_________________________
Give sorrow words: the grief that does not speak
Whispers the o'er-fraught heart and bids it break.

-William Shakespeare, Macbeth, Act IV, Sc. III

Top
#189480 - 11/01/07 10:08 AM Re: T appointment [Re: dgoods]
SEVEN ARROWS Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/12/07
Posts: 1298
Its just that after i had the T appointment, i got in the car and my wife tried to ask me what we had talked about, and i could not speak to her. This did not go down well. Now today i have to speak to my landlord, because of losing my job and being put on meds for depression, i have to sign on for benefits and housing benefit.
Now i have to give my landlord a form to fill in to prove that im living here and how much is the rent. I know he will ask why and i cant tell him, i even asked my wife to call him but she got annoyed with me and said ive got to do it as its my problem.
I feel like just packing a bag and getting the hell out of here. Its all getting too much and i dont want it anymore.

Sorry


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#189488 - 11/01/07 11:26 AM Re: T appointment [Re: SEVEN ARROWS]
pain4ever Offline


Registered: 04/05/01
Posts: 1032
Hang in there......

I know sometimes it seems so easy to pack your bag and run but ya know what? These problems or issues can't be ignored and will follow you no metter where you run.

So what do we do? Turn and face them, just like you are! I am proud of you for that but I am sorry things are going so rough.


Okay on your landlord, he doesnt have to have an explaination. Just say its kind of personal and you would rather not discuss it. Its none of his business to be honest.

I am sorry about your wife, she should see this is a place that she could help and make things a bit easier but then also, this is a challenge that you can handle. I know you can and each one of these challenges that you overcome, make you stronger.

Hold on man....it will get better!

Brian

_________________________
Peace and Tranquility all depends on your frame of reference.

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#189490 - 11/01/07 11:37 AM Re: T appointment [Re: SEVEN ARROWS]
dgoods Offline
Guest

Registered: 10/15/07
Posts: 622
Loc: Richmond area
seven, i'm struggling w/ either getting another job, or trying for disability, the thought of which i HATE. but i know i have to do something, or i'm homeless in a month. as easy as it would be to just take off or sit and wait for the world to crash down on me, i can't do that. where would i go? what would i eat? my family's helped out too much already, i got no trust fund or rich relatives. Every time i give in to that "f-- it" impulse, i'm twice as bad off after, and i've got even more crap to deal with. how you feel sure sounds familiar to me, though- everyone's tired of my sorry a-- never following through i think.

_________________________
Give sorrow words: the grief that does not speak
Whispers the o'er-fraught heart and bids it break.

-William Shakespeare, Macbeth, Act IV, Sc. III

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