I have trouble having a good time in public. More than one person of any gender at a time scares me, as I was done hard against repeatedly. Sometimes even by female perpetrators.

I hate crowds, i get panic attacks, but i'm also stressed by small groups too, i spend all my time worrying about who to trust, who "the top dog" is, are they all messing w/ me, etc.

I hate being around anyone, let alone crowds.

If I can't be alone, I'd rather be in a LARGE group. So much easier to blend into the wallpaper and not be bothered.

What get's me is that small group - where people notice each other easily. Too many eyes, to many possible bad things.

M

I too have problems with this. what I have learned to so is at large functions for work I stay with people I have some trust in. I really don't go large functions unless I have to or to be supportive of someone I care about. being behind closed doors with people I don't really know messes with me. Meetings where I have to talk about myself are tough. Although AA did help me with some of these fears it does not mean I have trust, and that is probably why I am the way I am about social situations.
Rick

One of my biggest problems when it comes to people is being around my friends who know I am going through lots of crap from my past, but don't know yet what the crap is. I still can not tell anyone what happened to me as a child. I just am not at that point yet in my recovery. So I am always second guessing what they are thinking about me. It scares me to death. So consequently I try to stay away from my friends as much as possible. My GF doesn't understand this, I guess that is something that we both have to work on.
Thanks

Marinan,

Social anxiety in a small group is not very much a problem for me later. But it was not until I learned a lot about other people, my friends or coworkers. They even help me and I feel good when in group.

In the past I suffered a lot with frustration, feelings of detachment from reality and sweating - all the symptoms of anxiety and panic.

You willbe better with time. I hope you will heal fast. Trust me, this is passing with time.

Alexey

Marinan,

Maybe it would help you to focus on exactly what it is you fear when you are in a group. I went through a stage where had a lot of anxiety in a group setting, and it turned out I was afraid I would dissociate - and then who knows what would happen? But once I had that connection out in the open I could then tell myself that when I dissociated it was almost always when I was alone in a quiet house, not out in public with lots of people making noise.

It's like this with so many issues concerning abuse. It's useful to look at something and ask ourselves what the causes are. Once we have addressed the cause, the behavior that concerns us may well just fade out.

Much love,
Larry

Yep I understand the feelings expressed here by hating crowds because I never feel like I fit in. The good news for me is I keep trying to overcome the anxiety and fear. I have to admit I keep trying with a certain determination. My T says it takes practice and that it may be just as hard for many others there too.
I know he is right, at least I believe I am not the only one who has a hard time and there are countless others out there who have had hard lives growing up or even as adults. When I am able to remember that, it helps me feel like I am going to be okay. It does not always work but there have been some really nice times where I felt I was okay and had better control.

There is a lot of comfort in knowing we are not alone. Does anyone else connect with that idea?

Peace,
Dan

Not feeling like you are the only one in a situation helps a ton. Definitely know this, but I have trouble feeling this.

Like Larry, I've sometimes realized after the fact that I am afraid of having a kind of excallating anxiety leading to dissociation and a terrifying feeling of being out of control in (what feels like) a dangerous situation. (Sound familiar?) It can happen quickly and feeds on itself (fear of the fear) like a panic attack. What helps is to quickly take action to calm myself, and learn to trust myself to do that.