you're obviously no dummy, but i could almost hear your eyes rolling at certain points; it reminds me of how i was once, w/ a ex g/f's lesbian friend, who i thought seemed to be promoting some sort of "every woman has a lesbian side, and that should be explored and accepted" agenda, which i thought at the time to be an externalization of her own difficulties w/ self-acceptance.
Whether that was the case or not, my drunken argument w/ this woman resulted in it being plainly obvious, whether i was right about her or not, that i didn't at all care for: the idea of my g/f dumping me for another woman, and the casual hook-up, "no strings" scene that this woman was a part of at the time. Being straight, i admit to being threatened by the idea that another woman has a far better understanding physically of what feels good for a woman sexually; hello inadequacy!
Couple that w/ the fact that my g/f was a survivor herself, and had moments where being touched by me was the last thing she wanted, and a feeling of resignation and bitterness crept in- therefore my attitude toward her lesbian friend was, "don't come tooting that horn around here, sunshine- she's got enough problems w/o you popping up selling lesbian hook-ups as a cure-all for whatever emotional problem a woman may be having."
was i wrong to think that? maybe, maybe not. but all anybody else saw was how threatened i felt.
I can relate to what you're saying, and am not trying to patronize you at all or be snarky, but the claws are still showing a little; i hope you don't resent the feedback. Just my 2 cents!
Give sorrow words: the grief that does not speak
Whispers the o'er-fraught heart and bids it break.
-William Shakespeare, Macbeth, Act IV, Sc. III