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#189173 - 10/30/07 02:55 AM My perp is crying in jail
scotia1 Offline
Guest

Registered: 05/27/07
Posts: 81
Hi guys,

I had a call tonight from a fellow survivor that has inside connections to a jail cell area. Our perp (that abused us as boys)has been held there for a number of months awaiting the trial date to begin. He has been told that he (our prep) cries in his cell almost every night. I have mixed feelings about this.
What are some of your thoughts?

Scotia


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#189181 - 10/30/07 06:31 AM Re: My perp is crying in jail [Re: scotia1]
MemoryVault Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/01/07
Posts: 693
Loc: NJ
Wow.

I'd think it would be nice to believe that he is crying because he understands what he's done and is deeply sorry.

But he may be crying because he's scared, or not in control of his life (and yours) anymore.

David


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#189184 - 10/30/07 07:21 AM Re: My perp is crying in jail [Re: MemoryVault]
dgoods Offline
Guest

Registered: 10/15/07
Posts: 622
Loc: Richmond area
without knowing the perp, it's hard to call, but re: David's comment- he gave up control of his life the day he gave himself permission to act on his urges.

_________________________
Give sorrow words: the grief that does not speak
Whispers the o'er-fraught heart and bids it break.

-William Shakespeare, Macbeth, Act IV, Sc. III

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#189269 - 10/30/07 04:47 PM Re: My perp is crying in jail [Re: dgoods]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Scotia,

You can bet he's crying for his own sake, and knowing how perps get treated in jail he has good reason. Too bad he never considered your tears. If he had, he wouldn't be where he is this afternoon, which is exactly where he should be - no matter how much crying he does.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#189272 - 10/30/07 05:08 PM Re: My perp is crying in jail [Re: roadrunner]
OKIE MIKE Offline
Member

Registered: 02/13/04
Posts: 979
Loc: HULBERT OK
GOOD , He is crying because he knows what happens to child molesters in jail

_________________________
MICHAEL

"I HAD NO SHOES THEN I SAW A MAN THAT HAD NO FEET"

"All I can do is be me, whoever that is"

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#189283 - 10/30/07 06:17 PM Re: My perp is crying in jail [Re: OKIE MIKE]
bmac Offline
New Here

Registered: 09/28/07
Posts: 27
Loc: Atlantic Canada
Hey Scotia, I once talked to my perp about five years ago an about 15years after it happened, he cried and said his life was in sham's and he was really depressed, I recently pressed charges a year ago, and found him on facebook, happyly as can be, and living life to the fullest, I do think that some perps try to play on our sympothy one more time, I hope that he is sorry for what he has done to you, but I also would be lerry of his sick mind...you think most accept there actions, but usually the opposite, they will deny and run from it as long as they can, hopefully not doing anymore harm along the way, my hat off to you for pressing charges and taking another perp off the street and protecting furture victims from there sickness.......all the best in your recovery.........Bryan


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#189289 - 10/30/07 07:10 PM Re: My perp is crying in jail [Re: bmac]
tartugas Offline
Board Member
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 02/11/07
Posts: 513
Loc: NYC
Scotia,

Personally, I have little faith that he even has a sense of guilt for what he has done. From what I know, many if not most, perps are incapable of seeing things from the vantage point of those they have hurt.

I think it's far more important to know what youre feeling. Your tears are the ones that matter. Your anger and your sadness are the emotions that will move you towards healing, not his. Let the criminal rot in his cell. Should he one come crawling on his knees begging for forgiveness, then let's worry about his tears. For now send him back to his dark hole in the ground and stay focussed on you.

_________________________
"I am not a mechanism, an assembly of various sections.
And it is not because the mechanism is working wrongly, that I am ill.
I am ill because of wounds to the soul, to the deep emotional self...."
Healing D.H. Lawrence

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#189307 - 10/30/07 09:18 PM Re: My perp is crying in jail [Re: tartugas]
scotia1 Offline
Guest

Registered: 05/27/07
Posts: 81
Thanks for the support guys. Bmac you may be right about his “lerry sick mind”, this may be just a game he is playing.

Mike; You make a good point. Newspaper reports say that one man already has been charged with assaulting him shortly after he arrived in jail. There may be others waiting for their opportunity.

I guess I am trying “not” to feel good about his situation, for that would make me more like him. On the other hand it is very hard “not” to smile just a little!!

What would you guys do if you had the chance to visit him in jail? Just thinking about it!

Scotia


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#189314 - 10/30/07 09:51 PM Re: My perp is crying in jail [Re: scotia1]
dgoods Offline
Guest

Registered: 10/15/07
Posts: 622
Loc: Richmond area
i think i'd just stare at him deadpan, while letting "Who's Got the Last Laugh Now" play in the backround...

_________________________
Give sorrow words: the grief that does not speak
Whispers the o'er-fraught heart and bids it break.

-William Shakespeare, Macbeth, Act IV, Sc. III

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#189327 - 10/30/07 10:57 PM Re: My perp is crying in jail [Re: dgoods]
tartugas Offline
Board Member
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 02/11/07
Posts: 513
Loc: NYC
I'd let him rot and get on with my life.

_________________________
"I am not a mechanism, an assembly of various sections.
And it is not because the mechanism is working wrongly, that I am ill.
I am ill because of wounds to the soul, to the deep emotional self...."
Healing D.H. Lawrence

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