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#188883 - 10/27/07 01:35 AM just a friendly warning
dgoods Offline
Guest

Registered: 10/15/07
Posts: 622
Loc: Richmond area
If this should be in the off-topic forum, please move it, but anyway- if anyone here is part of any "social networking" site, be very wary of messages in your email box that are designed to look like: a shy person you recently re-connected with, or added as a friend, who you haven't spoken to, or seen, recently or ever.
Two days since I left a comment for, and got added as a friend by, an old schoolmate who i used to have a crush on, i get this sort of message. The details in the message told me that a human had to be looking through the site she and i have in common, b/c knowledge that *could only be inferred through a pic* was in the spammer's message/linked site. This shouldn't have any bearing on anonymity insofar as MS, but I had to check the original sender's profile (which of course had no pic or other info at all), and take another look at the language used, which at first i thought was playful, but was clearly a non-English speaker/writer attempting to be generically inviting/interested.
I sent an embarassed PM to the woman in question, in case the reverse had been attempted, or other mutual sitemembers were experiencing the same thing. Again, this should NOT ever be a concern here, but for those of you on other networks, keep an eye out; they're getting slicker every day...

PS if a mod/admin is more curious as to the kind of detail that would have a paranoid guy like me sniff curiously, PM me and ill be happy to discuss it further. I consider this a safety/boundary issue relevant to survivors, but again UNRELATED TO THIS SITE- MS has very good anonymity policies, we're as safe as we choose to be here.

_________________________
Give sorrow words: the grief that does not speak
Whispers the o'er-fraught heart and bids it break.

-William Shakespeare, Macbeth, Act IV, Sc. III

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#188884 - 10/27/07 01:39 AM Re: just a friendly warning [Re: dgoods]
Hauser Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/12/05
Posts: 2962
Loc: United States
Dude, what the hell are you talking about?


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#188886 - 10/27/07 01:46 AM Re: just a friendly warning [Re: Hauser]
dgoods Offline
Guest

Registered: 10/15/07
Posts: 622
Loc: Richmond area
Am i on crack? No. Is the post in English? Yes.
Here's the simple version: "I got freaked out by having someone successfully mess w/ my head, if only briefly, by prowling around a site which forces use of real names. Be careful w/ social networking sites if you're on them."

_________________________
Give sorrow words: the grief that does not speak
Whispers the o'er-fraught heart and bids it break.

-William Shakespeare, Macbeth, Act IV, Sc. III

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#188888 - 10/27/07 02:02 AM Re: just a friendly warning [Re: dgoods]
dgoods Offline
Guest

Registered: 10/15/07
Posts: 622
Loc: Richmond area
Sorry gang, maybe it's just more baggage rising to the surface lately. But I've noticed myself becoming both more socially outgoing, yet also more "feisty". If feeling like this is familiar to anyone, as part of newly ID'ing as a CSA survivor, chime in please- I'm honestly not trying to come off as shrill, or as being snarky or nasty. But Hauser, do you know how many times someone's asked me "What's going on?" and after half an hour of convoluted rambling as I get more and more self-conscious, I hear, "Dude- What the hell are you talking about?"
usually followed by "Pff- whatever, OK? You got serious f-n' problems, man."
Tired n' touchy i guess- my apologies, pleease don't get all disgusted or pissed. I guess typing instead of talking doesn't always guarantee less emotion and more reason, idk. Didn't mean to be so sarcastic or nasty, just had an invisible (to others) button pushed. I've had better days.

_________________________
Give sorrow words: the grief that does not speak
Whispers the o'er-fraught heart and bids it break.

-William Shakespeare, Macbeth, Act IV, Sc. III

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#188890 - 10/27/07 02:12 AM Re: just a friendly warning [Re: dgoods]
Hauser Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/12/05
Posts: 2962
Loc: United States
Ahhh I get it now.

Yeah.....I put myself on myspace once a year or so ago, for a bit, just so that people that used to know me can get ahold of me. I keep my personal information to myself though.

It was possible for me to do this AND be anonymous with my personal info by linking myself to my home school and year of graduation. And the only way anyone could PM me was if they knew my last name or my email address.

The most UNEXPECTED people responded, but it was cool to hear from them.


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#188919 - 10/27/07 12:26 PM Re: just a friendly warning [Re: Hauser]
River Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/23/07
Posts: 112
Loc: Nashville,Tennessee
Okay guys. I am new here and just five minutes ago my wife asked me if this thing is safe for me. I confidently reassured he that this site is okay. Is it okay?! How to I keep myself safe on this thing?

_________________________
GD

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#188920 - 10/27/07 12:35 PM Re: just a friendly warning [Re: River]
saint-of-Lost-Causes Offline
Guest

Registered: 10/13/07
Posts: 57
Loc: Michigan
River...its safe....the mods here are great and do their job quite effectively. The people in this place have been screwed over enough so the mods weed out the suspicious people and those trying to victimize us again.

And D, I think its quite normal to think like that...whether its due to the experiences or not..I am quite suspicious of things like that and of people in general...even people on here (no offense to anyone)I stay guarded. I always wonder...is what they are saying true or are they out to get something from me?



Edited by mtd200385 (10/27/07 12:42 PM)
_________________________
We accept the love we think we deserve!

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#188923 - 10/27/07 12:59 PM Re: just a friendly warning [Re: River]
dgoods Offline
Guest

Registered: 10/15/07
Posts: 622
Loc: Richmond area
River-
This site appaently had a few trolls at one point, but I feel safe saying that 99% of the people are completely on the level.
MS keeps safety and anonymity a priority, but they have no control over people volunteering personal information- just stay anonymous, and if anyone starts harassing you or appears a little too interested in personal info (the view from your front window, what kind of pet you have, how many in your immediate family, etc.) then tell them politely to back off, and let a moderator/admin know immediately by sending the mod a PM. If a PM or chat seems inappropriate or makes you uncomfortable, don't feed into it, just report it to a mod. Most of us are highly sensitive to privacy and trust issues, and would be mortified at the idea of scaring off someone new to the site. If you report someone and it turns out to be a misunderstanding, no big deal- the person will never know that you reported them. The site is OK, it's as safe as YOU make it. Just use common sense, don't let fear get in the way of participating- my story is long and detailed as submitted, but nothing in it could be used to ID me.
Welcome, and thanks for having the courage to sign up!

_________________________
Give sorrow words: the grief that does not speak
Whispers the o'er-fraught heart and bids it break.

-William Shakespeare, Macbeth, Act IV, Sc. III

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#188934 - 10/27/07 04:11 PM Re: just a friendly warning [Re: dgoods]
River Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/23/07
Posts: 112
Loc: Nashville,Tennessee
Thanks guys. Quick question. Can anyone without a user name and password get on this website and read our posts?

_________________________
GD

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#188945 - 10/27/07 05:08 PM Re: just a friendly warning [Re: River]
EGL Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 06/19/04
Posts: 7821
Originally Posted By: River
Thanks guys. Quick question. Can anyone without a user name and password get on this website and read our posts?


On the Public side - yes. On the Members side - no. You have to be a registered, dues-paying member to see anything on the Members side. Anyone can read the Public side, but only registered members can actually post on the Public side.

_________________________
Eddie

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#188947 - 10/27/07 06:44 PM Re: just a friendly warning [Re: EGL]
FormerTexan Offline
Site Administrator
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 09/12/04
Posts: 11047
Loc: Denver, CO
Also, avatars do not show up in the listings unless one is logged in.

_________________________
List of things ain't nobody got time for:

1. That


If I could meet myself as a boy...

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#188962 - 10/27/07 08:40 PM Re: just a friendly warning [Re: EGL]
River Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/23/07
Posts: 112
Loc: Nashville,Tennessee
So, which part is public and which part is members? I'm a little confused.

_________________________
GD

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#188964 - 10/27/07 09:55 PM Re: just a friendly warning [Re: River]
FormerTexan Offline
Site Administrator
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 09/12/04
Posts: 11047
Loc: Denver, CO
River,

When one becomes a dues-paying member, a new list of forums will show up when he logs in, in addition to the currently-visible forums.

Andy

_________________________
List of things ain't nobody got time for:

1. That


If I could meet myself as a boy...

Top
#188965 - 10/27/07 09:56 PM Re: just a friendly warning [Re: River]
EGL Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 06/19/04
Posts: 7821
Up at the top of the screen for this thread, you'll see where it says:

MaleSurvivor >> Forums >> MaleSurvivor Public Forums >> Off Topic >> just a friendly warning

There's a whole other set of forums on the Members side, similar to the ones on the Public side. So this post is on the public side, but there are other forums that become available once you become a dues-paying member. Which is kind of nice, because you can talk about different things there that you might not necessarily want out on the public side.

_________________________
Eddie

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#189027 - 10/28/07 08:49 PM Re: just a friendly warning [Re: EGL]
Dewey2k Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/22/05
Posts: 3069
Let me reiterate that if something has happened that has made you uncomfortable here on this site, tell a moderator so we can check into it. We do our best to make sure the site is as safe as it can be, and your help makes that easier for us.

Don't worry about seeming paranoid- I would rather someone report a vague feeling of unease rather than let it slide. If you report something, we'll look into it and let you know if everything is okay, or take action if it's needed.

We're here for you guys- feel free to PM any of the moderators at any time.

D2K


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