ok last night i was watching South Park its a adult cartoon incase any one dosnt know what it is. i usualy like the show i dont watch it regularly but if i see its on i will watch it.

So last night i turn it on and there are a bunch of people in a room they are talking to a guy who wasnt in the room. All you could here the person saying is he is raping me he is raping me over and over again.

i quickly changed the channel but the damage had been done the rest of the night i couldnt get that sound out of my head.

but thats not the worst part of it.

i dont know if there is a name for what im about to explain if their is please let me know

once before something similar had happened to me where i could feel some one touching me even though no one really was.

But this time it was way worse i can't even describe what it was like.

i thought writing about it might help but i cant finish.
,Chris

Chris-
First of all, i hope someone in RL is available for you to help cope w/ this, it sounds as though this was quite a nasty surprise for you. I'm certainly no expert, but what you describe sounds very much like a PTSD "flashback", where your mind overrides your senses, to replay a traumatic event. From vets i've known that have had this experience, the first time was incredibly frightening for them, they began questioning their sanity, and struggled to re-draw their mental line between past and present, internal and external. It could be the TV show dialogue was a trigger in the strongest sense, rather than simply creating anxiety or anger, it led to a full-blown flashback. My vet friends have not eradicated these experiences completely, but through years of dealing w/ them have found various coping strategies to lessen their impact. Don't panic or despair over this, but certainly don't minimize it once you've calmed down; if this is what is happening to you, the more honest you can be w/ someone you feel safe with, the better your chances for managing this aspect of your recovery. Stay safe, we're there for you 100%!

Chris,

I agree with dgoods. I will add that it is common for survivors through traumatic experiences to hold memories in their body... "body memories." I am not sure if this is what you experienced, but it is a possibility.

It must be difficult dealing with that, being as which you were extremely young when this happened weren't you? I can imagine that the memories themselves aren't so clear, but the feelings are I bet.

Thanks guys, as i said in the post this has happenend to me before just not to the extent that this one did it was really strange im doing much better now but it was really a strange experience that i dont want to do have again. i felt helpless it was awful but im doing good now so its alright.

,Chris