I sure know how you feel, and how you never show it. (Made me a good poker player in my youth!) I have for the first time ever slightly lost my temper with people recently - nothing very serious. (Really startled them that someone who's usually so mild could get excited.) DOn't know if that's good or bad - freaks me a bit that I seem to be losing control of my emotions a little.
Paddy

I suppose 'what ruins our day' is relevant to the life experiences we have endured.

In my job I used to work alongside another Supervisor (this was when I was starting to break down, and just before I made my statement to the police). He was always worried if he didn't produce a graph on time, whereas I was only really bothered about getting the product to the customer.

When I broke down and had time off work, he came to see me as everyone thought I was off with a virus. I told him why I was really off work & I always remember the shock on his face. He said: "Christ, no wonder you don't care about graphs and stuff, with all that going around your head". I think it has changed his outlook on life and others somewhat. To him, a crisis was telephoning his wife because he had to work back an hour.

A broken fingernail is a crisis to someone who has never experienced anything worse (think junked up celebrities with too much time and money).

A crisis to someone who has experienced a broken mind/body or both is going to be something pretty horrific!

Best wishes ...Rik

Hi,

Good response, Rick. I think most of the times that people complain about inane things they simply want attention or pity or whatever. And if they knew about real problems they wouldn't even know how to react (like your boss didn't). But Mel, I understand. I don't know whether to get ticked or simply laugh when someone's problems seem so insignificant to me (because they're nothing compared with mine).
I, too, feel like saying, 'Oh, you think that's bad. You want to trade with me? Here's mine...'. But I don't. It is much better for me to find things to be thankful for, starting with not being bothered by trivial things, or worried about where I'll take my next vacation, etc.
As long as I don't resort to sarcasm, with something like, 'Oh, I thought for a moment you really had a problem....', or rolling my eyes or walking away ready to hit something, I'm okay. Then again, I always try to be sympathetic, even when the attempt seems to make me ill.

Ed

Ed

Hi All,

Yes, I've felt like this, more and more lately. I don't have the stomach anymore for petty complaints. I tune them out. I think some of it may be jealosy -- jealosy that 'they' have not had to deal with what you have, and selfishness, which I think is OK, because we have been denied our 'selves' for so long.

BTW, this may be a little off-topic: I think I just get angry a lot more, period. I storm around fuming sometimes. I especially get angry at incompetence, like store clerks giving the wrong change or charging too much for something, telemarketers, newspaper delivery that doesn't deliver... I didn't used to be like this.

Darren.

What I absolutely hate it when people say "I know exactly how you feel" Yea, right. These people don't have a clue.
KENKEN

What I absolutely hate it when people say "I know exactly how you feel" Yea, right. These people don't have a clue.
KENKEN

I go both ways on this one. On a Good day (LOL!)I see my journey through the trauma and pain as a gift because it has forced me to grow in ways I would have never grown otherwise. I am definately not a shallow person and I see, think, feel and experience things very deeply and I feel I have something to offer to others.

On other days (LOL!) I really get pissed off at people whining and bitching about stupid stuff. I want to say, "Grow up!" but I don't.

Then there are those days when I think other's pain, hurt and trauma is more significant than mine AND my needs, pains and hurts have no place. In fact, I will stay on the phone and listen to others for an hour, when I am hungry or it's past my bedtime and my wife is pissed about how long I have been on the phone. I call it self-deprivation ... my job "as a victim" is to have no boundaries and to go without because a friends or family member's needs are more important.

Peace

I have deifinitely had those moments; but it depends on my state of mind at the time, i guess- sometimes i can almost use someone else's conniption over trivial crap as a way to relax; since there is no serious immediate concern, or triggering associations, i can make reassuring noises at them, let them vent, and just take a mental break. If i'm getting screamed at over nothing, by someone whose biggest life-stress was to decide between Aruba or Bora Bora for their vacation home's location?
Let's just say the middle ground between remaining silent, and being cuffed n' stuffed for assault, hasn't been reached by yours truly as of yet...

just a word on this issue from "the other side"

I am a partner and yes, to some, a hangnail is the end of their world and others carry an inconceivable amount of real pain daily.without so much as a word.....

BUT, try explaining to a survivor that you (a non CSA person) had a bad day, or has an issue that you need to discuss..
no matter how grave you feel about whatever it is your feeling, it can NEVER EVER match the intensity of his feelings....

it can be frustrating to be dismissed or trivialized because your issues couldn't possibly be as bad........worse yet, they are not as bad!
But at the time, they are painful just the same.

Just wanted to throw that out there...Thanks.
M:)