I hate you
you raped me
you bastard

fuck you
FUCK YOU

this hurts so dam much
I want the pain to leave me

but it wont

thanks for listening men
really pissed off at my grandparents at the moment

fuck you Floyd and Donna (grandparents)
fuck fuck fuck fuck you both

sometimes polite words don't cut it...
Thanks for the honesty, i felt a little better just reading it, i hope you did after writing it.

I am right there with you, man! Your post really touched my own rage.

Buried my grandmother on Halloween last year ... a very fitting day for her to be buried.

I Carried her damn coffin ...dissociated through the whole damn thing and don't remember it. I drove a motor vehicle to the cemetary ... don't remembe driving it! Thought I could do it alone! WRONG!!! Threw me into a friggin' relapse into my addiction after I had accumulated some good sober time.

So, I join with you ....
fuck you Harry and Lillian (grandparents)
fuck fuck fuck fuck you both

I have protected my mother from this shit for MANY years. I told my brother a few weeks ago ... he stands with me. I am preparing to tell the fucking family secret! All hell is going to break loose. It am not going to protect him or her or anyone any longer! It is killing me.

Thanks for the post. I also felt better after reading it and thanks for indulging my rambling post.

river that meant a lot to me you being there, I wanted to piss on that grave so bad now 20 years later not sure but I do not like it that they molested me, they were my grandparents

MJ and River,

Getting it out helps and am gld u were able to get it out here.

-Jim

Michael,

It has to come out one way or another, and you have found the words that YOU needed to use. That is OKAY!

Have you considered the possibility of writing as a letter to your grandparents? That can be a powerful experience and you don't ever have to send it. I wrote a letter to the man who abused me as a boy, burned it and scattered the ashes at his grave, and that was a big step for me.

Much love,
Larry

Michael,

You said, "I wanted to piss on that grave so bad now 20 years"

Last year before my grandmother's funeral, I had gathered up some stakes ... big long stakes... and I planned to go the the cemetary prior to her burial and I wanted to drive those things into his grave. I talked myself out of it because I did not want to get arrested for vandalizing a cemetary or something. Not sure what good that would have done me. I still have thoughts of going back and placing a stake in his grave.

i just want to cry sream

Pissed off at them all

noone has the right to my body with out my permission

Michael, I totally relate.

I was thinking yesterday as I was driving home from work that it would it would feel really good to get a batonga bat and just beat the shit out of something. I think that physical release might do me some good.

Does other family members know about your grandparents?

mom does my spouse does does