I spoke with my wife last night - a frank, open discussion about sexuality. What I liked and - sometimes - why I liked it. We tried to stay away from if it was related to the abuse or not - and just focus on what it was and why I liked it and if it was something we could or should work into our physical intimacy. I am pretty basic when it comes to physical intimacy with one peculiar exception for oral sex and ejaculate (which closely parallels the Masterbation, Ejaculation and Shame thread). Anyhow it was not nearly as scary as I thought it would be, she did not scream at me, call me a pervert, or anything else - it was a great talk and I felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders.

The bottom line is what I was beating myself up about - being afraid to talk to her about - turned into a tender moment of openness and honesty. And something she encouraged me to share with her as a participant.

Kelly,

What a wonderful update. I think for anyone speaking about their sexuality is a tough conversation, but the reality is just as you found if your speaking to a person you love or who means alot to you. Starting the conversation is hard and the build up of anxiety will definitely make you break a sweat, but once it's started, it's a beautiful way to show your trust and faith in one another and improve your lives.

Good for you and your wife!

ROCK ON.......Trish

Awesome Kelly...
Congrats to you AND to your wife...
M:)